"Question"

Sometimes,
she’ll ask
me
a question.

Then in return,
I’ll give
her
an answer.

Bundled
in a sweater
with purpose
puncturing her words,
I hear her smart
yet sassy
inquisition.

(She never lets me down.)

It’s those moments,
where my heart
beats a little
too
fast.
But still…
I try to keep
my distance
(and curiosity)
at bay
for what her next
question will be.

She brings up
the clouds,
the mist
the breeze
trying to get in
through my window.

And I want
to open the window
and feel the sun on my face
because it is just like
her smile.
(But instead
I bury my head,
back to the calls
flashing on my phone.)

Every time
I see
her
there’s so much
to do
I want her to leave
(and need her
to stay
to make this
dull gray light
stark sunshine bright.)

Sometimes
she’ll ask
me
a question

(Too close to the truth.)

And I
won’t answer
her
at all.

(And we both
know why.)

Photo by freestocks.org on Unsplash

"Valentine's Day"

Chocolate hearts,
sweet tarts,
honey dripping
off your lips.

Written out paper card,
walking down the boulevard
not knowing where
but happy all the same.

Red rose,
bantering prose
nothing can ever
compare to this.

Cuddly teddy bear,
my mind without care
as long as you
are next to me.

Love of my life,
your future wife
doesn’t need
all these things.

Only you
and me too
together
forevermore.

Happy Valentine’s Day, my dear

Photo by Alejandra Quiroz on Unsplash

"Answer"

Sometimes,
I’ll ask
you
a question.

Then in return,
you’ll give
me
an answer.

Fastened
in a business suit
with logic
licking your lips,
I hear your polite
professional
response.

(Good for you.)

And I notice,
disappointment
and relief
tying my hands
behind my back.
But still…
I’m curious
(and struck)
so I change
my tactics.

I bring up the sun,
the air,
the rain brushing
the windows
near your desk.

And you say,
“It’s been so
so busy.
There hasn’t
been time.”

You are either
so absorbed
in your papers
or so disinterested
in everything else
except
your phone.

Trying to get
you
to look
at me
is my favorite
game.

Because,
there have been
certain times,
when I know
I’ve gotten through
to you.

Sometimes
I’ll ask
you
a question.

And
you
won’t answer
me
at all.

(And we both know,
you heard me.)

Photo by Tim Marshall on Unsplash

I Should Have Read That Book Tag

Good golly gosh… where to begin? Reading is one of the loves of my life, so much so that I take my time to savor the storytelling of each book that I read. It’s because of this habit though that it does take me a bit of time to get through one book, and with a never ending TBR pile well… you can imagine how long my list is of books I still have to read! (AND I AM DETERMINED TO GET TO EVERY. SINGLE. ONE.)

Thanks to the lovely Sophie @ Sophie’s Corner for thinking of me for this tag! Now without further ado lets jump in! 😀

The Rules:

  • Thank the person who tagged you and link back to their post.
  • Link to the creator’s blog in your post
  • Answer the questions below
  • Tag 10 others to take part in the tag
  • Enjoy the tag!

A book that a certain friend is always telling you to read

I own this book. It’s on the bookshelf right in front of my bed so I see it every morning when I wake up. I have also heard so many good things about this series and when I went to Book Con last year I even won an adorable scythe pin. Those are the top reasons, among many others, of why I got to get my butt in gear and finally read this one!

A book that has been on your TBR forever and yet you still haven’t read it

I know. The Night Circus is one of my favorite books of all time, so I don’t know why it’s taking me so long to get to The Starless Sea. Probably, it’s because I want to wait till I have more time to truly enjoy this book to the fullest. You can only read a book for the first time once, right?

A book in a series you’ve started, but haven’t gotten around to finishing

I JUST FINISHED MY SECOND REREAD OF THIS. I AM GOING TO FINISH THE DUOLOGY. FINALLY. MY BELOVED CROOKED KINGDOM THE TIME HAS FINALLY COME!

A classic you have always liked the sound of, but have never actually read

This is a book I’ve been meaning to read for years. I think if I remember right I even picked it up and started to read it a few years ago but for some reason or another put it back on the shelf because the timing wasn’t right. Hopefully this year it will be!

A popular book that it seems everyone but you has read

I’m embarrassing myself so bad with this tag. I know. I haven’t read this one either yet. I WANT TO! It’s another that has been staring me down from my bookshelf. I have heard numerous beautiful, heartbreaking things about this book and it is about time I read it!

A book that inspired a film/TV adaptation that you really love, but just haven’t picked up yet

I started reading this series years and years ago when I was like twelve. My twelve year old self just got distracted midway through and hasn’t been back since. I’m determined to read this series all the way eventually! {Then tackle Lord of the Rings, but that’s another story 😉 }

A book you see all over Instagram but haven’t picked up yet

I’ve heard this one is a combo of The Infernal Devices and Howl’s Moving Castle which are tops in my Favorite Books of All Time list. I see you Sorcery of Thorns and I AM COMING FOR YOU. (EVENTUALLY.)

Tags

I tag anyone who wants to participate!

Have any of you read the books I mentioned above? Probably, right? Haha! What books are highlights on your TBR piles?

Till next time,

Living Life #22 "Mirror"

The shards were scattered all over the floor.

Each edge was jagged, and unlike any of the others. Of course they would all be different. They all came from different experiences.

The shard closest was derived from the boy who pushed her into the sandbox when she was five, just because she had been born a girl and for no other reason more.

The one to the right was one of the bigger ones. It was from when she was seven and her father had left. She thought it had been her fault. It was not her fault.

All the way to the left was a tiny chip, nearly in the shape of a heart. Nearly. It was from the eighth grade when the boy she liked had tried to set her up with his best friend.

Then all the way in the back, that piece with the most uneven sides… the piece with the sharpest angles…. that was the one from her first job out of school when her boss had tried to sand her down. That boss hadn’t liked the bumps on her skin, the angle of her eyes, or the color of her hair. That boss had balked at the smile she wore to work every day no matter how many backhanded compliments and disguised insults were said to her face. That was the girl’s favorite piece. That was the piece that cut deepest from her skin and made her never look back or question who she was ever again.

All of these shards on the floor were an important piece of her soul. So the image left standing in the mirror, after it was fixed once again, was a smarter and stronger girl.

Photo by Luis Villasmil on Unsplash

"Stay"

I want
you
to stay.

Please.

Don’t leave
me
with those
skinny
reckless
young boys
trying to catch
grapes
in their mouths.

Stay
with me.

Please.

They don’t know
how
to be men
yet.
And that
is what
I really
need.

Please.

Don’t
leave me.

I need
the man
who holds
the door for me.

The man
who notices
and helps me
without a word.

The man
who said,
“If you need me,
let me know.”

I need you.

Right now.

Please.
Don’t
go.

Read my mind.
Cause I
can’t
say those words
(the ones
I really mean)
with her
so near.

Please.
Stay with me.
I
don’t
want
to
be
alone.

Photo by Dan Gribbin on Unsplash

Snapshot 1/31/20 // Delighted and Disillusioned by the Endless Variety of Life

Currently listening: “My Shot” – Hamilton: An American Musical
Currently watching: Letterkenny S3
Currently (re)reading: Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo

New year, new me, new blog! Hey guys it’s 2020 and though it was long, look we survived January! As you can see at this point I was a busy little bee and redesigned the look of my blog! New colors! New fonts! New graphics! (note: all. the. exclamation. points! I’m really proud of myself y’all.) (and also super tired but it’s WORTH IT.)

(Both halves of me as I type this)

Someone was working on her goals, lol. Let’s head into them now, shall we?

January Goals:

  1. Research, research, research! Check, but still not done researching for that pesky WIP yet. This goal will live on into February, and that way I can hopefully get to writing in March.
  2. Plan a steadier posting schedule! Check. You can check out the link here for the post announcing it or go to the ‘About’ page on my site.
  3. Enact redesigning the site! MAJOR CHECK. This was where a majority of my time went and I’m very proud of it. It’s simple I know, but I did it all myself, so please allow me to revel in my hard work.
(Thank you for indulging me)

February (aka the month in which Jai freezes her buns off) Goals:

  1. Research, research, research (Round 2)! I like researching and learning new things especially when I find something useful to use for my WIP’s story and world building. Not going to lie though, it can also get very tedious drudging through lots of facts and dates that are about as interesting as watching paint dry. On the bright side, I’ll share a tidbit. This revamped WIP of mine takes place in the very world we live in, (LE GASP!) just another side of it. (*cue eyebrow wiggle*) Vague, yes. Generic, I know. Confusing, for sure. Forgive me.
  2. Finish organizing my room/desk/work space! I need to clean my room, like for real. There is so much going on: paper all over the floor, clothes thrown over my chair, AND BOOKS LEAKING OUT OF EVERY ORIFICE LIKE WATER OUT of A BUSTED PIPE. I definitely need to clean that way I stay focused and stop thinking about my TBR pile for the next year. (Crooked Kingdom I’m coming for you next!)
  3. Stick to my planned blog posting schedule! I’m putting it here as a concrete goal. The only way to build a habit is to practice it. It’s 2020 and I’m holding myself accountable. Damn straight.
(Rosa Diaz’ entire being is an accurate depiction of my dead seriousness)

Side note: I’ve also started reading as soon as I wake up now, instead of waiting till bedtime and… I’m finding I really enjoy it? I think I’m actually reading more than I was before. Starting your day with cereal and an epic tale in your head is basically everything you need to survive the day.

What I Read:

The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald. I first read this book in high school, as I’m sure most Americans have. I wasn’t sure what to expect then since a lot of the books we were forced to read in high school, though classics, weren’t always the most engaging. The Great Gatsby was different. It stuck with me. Short and straight, outlandish and lovelorn, it was a book I felt that anyone could relate to. Even through the grand parties and the lifestyles of the rich and the careless, at the heart of the book is an indescribable insight into the human soul. All of us of been so locked into our past at one point that it takes up our future, just like Gatsby. All of us have acted innocent, sometimes spoiled, and even ignorant just like Daisy. All of us have been the outsiders to someone else’s life where the grass always seems greener on the other side, just like Nick, but in the end we see the situation for what it really is and realize no, the grass really isn’t that green after all. As my first read for the new decade it didn’t disappoint. Even after all these years I find I enjoyed the story more than I did when I was in high school and honestly, I understand a lot more about the characters now than I did before. If you haven’t read it, I highly recommend it. Every book lover should read The Great Gatsby at least once.
Modern Romance by Aziz Ansari. I started this one in December and finished it in January. It’s a reread but I thought it deserved another look. Funny, charming and thoroughly researched, all the statistics are fascinating to learn, and Aziz’s wit keeps the book entertaining even through all the data heavy information. It’s a good look at the current trends in romance.
The House on Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros. Short, sweet and sometimes sour it’s a collection of vignettes told from the perspective of Esperanza Cordero about all the interesting characters of Mango Street where she grows up. It’s an inspiring coming of age novel that in the past I had only read bits and pieces of in school, but seen in its entirety now I’m really glad I read it. The vignettes range from as long as half a page to maybe four pages, and each one goes straight to your heart, either to hurt or to heal it with the endless variety of humanity life has to offer.
Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo. I’m in my second re-read of this beautiful book before I finally get to CROOKED KINGDOM which I regrettably have had yet to read. (I KNOW, RIGHT? WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE??) Alas, that shall be the very next book I pick up dear readers. Right now I’m just enjoying my ride here with Kaz in Chapter 18. He is very addicting. Expect the full mini review in next month’s Snapshot!

What I’ll Be Writing:

  • Poetry- posted every Wednesday
  • Living Life vignettes- posted every other Friday
  • Alternate Reality collection- posted the last Tuesday of the month
  • Snapshot! monthly recap- last day of every month
  • Announcements- posted as needed

So I’ve been doing the poetry and vignette thing for a while but as you guys might have noticed… I added something new! The Alternate Reality collection will be a feature of flash fiction posted on the last Tuesday of every month. Expect horror, sci-fi, fantasy along with many other potential genres! Oh, and a ton of MAGIC. These will be more out there stories so if you’re in for a wild ride check out the first post February 25th! Like the Living Life vignettes all the pieces will be independent of each other so there will be no need to read the predecessors to follow along.

I’m a firm believer that magic is out there. Sometimes it’s simple or subtle or we don’t recognize it for what it is at the time. That type of magic you will find in the Living Life vignettes. As for the wraiths, dystopian societies and current intergalactic wars that have been spanning centuries … (who knows?) that type of magic will be prevalent in the Alternate Reality collection.

I hope you are looking as forward to the adventure as I am.

Here are January’s Amazing Posts from Other Bloggers I Adored Reading:

My Round Up of January Posts (look how much I wrote!):

Thanks for hanging in there with me till the end of this long post, and I hope you guys like the new look of my blog! Here’s to the next eleven months: may we work hard towards our goals and may we all write our hearts out!

What are some of your February goals? What current books are you reading that are just too good to put down? (I think Kaz is calling me lol.) I’d love to talk in the comments!

Till next time,

Announcement – Jai Lynn Blog 2020 Posting Schedule

Hello world, as promised in my last Snapshot! monthly recap…. here is the official posting schedule for 2020!

  • Poetry – in the mood for a poem? Expect a poem every Wednesday
  • Living Life vignettes – need a spellbindingly enchanting written out documentation of brushing your teeth (among other real life struggles)? Expect a vignette every other Friday
  • Alternate Reality collection- feeling an independent (Fantasy, Sci-Fi, Horror, ect.) flash fiction piece with lots of MAGIC? Expect it the last Tuesday of every month
  • Snapshot! – want a brief monthly recap about the writer (me, Jai Lynn)’s life/blog/reading/writing experiences? Expect it on the last day of every month
  • Announcements – desiring to keep up with news about this blog and this struggling writer’s life? Expect a post as they are needed

This schedule goes live February 1st!

Until next time,

"K."

Photo by Alex Ware on Unsplash

I’m sorry
it had
to go
this way.

I hurt you,
I know.
But I don’t
regret it
still today.

No choice
was left
for me.
You made
that clear
and unfortunately
too easy.

I don’t feel
how you
do.

Caught
off guard
and alone
I had to
speak
the truth.

I don’t
feel
the same
way.

I’m sorry.
Neither of us
wrong,
just no more
to say.

In the end
it will
make us
both
strong.

Not now,
no,
not right now.

I answer
your text
with a
simple
“K.”

Then you got
the message
clear as day.

"Correlation"

Photo by Norbert Buduczki on Unsplash

I see him
every Sunday.
My dog and I
always taking
our stroll.

Bustling,
with a cloth
in hand
he cleans
and scrubs
until the windows
and blue doors
of that car shine
like diamonds
in the summer
or sapphires
in the winter.

Every Sunday,
he hustles
around that car
as if it’s a high strung
girlfriend
instead
of a means
of transportation.

As if it isn’t
our day off.

This is all
I know about him

and I wonder,
if he treats his car
that attentively
how would he treat
a girl?

Jumping
over puddles
or meandering
in the shade
of the sidewalk,
I look for him

and I wonder.

It wouldn’t
be normal
to see that car
without him there.

I see him
every Sunday,
and I think,
he sees
me too.