All the Places I Have Been, Where I Am, and the Places I Am Going?

Hi.

It’s been a while.

I haven’t posted since November 2021. Ever since I started there had never been a moment when I didn’t post at least once a month. That is until November 2021. Life is a weird and funny thing. I started this blog because I wanted to join a community, I wanted to share my work with others, and I wanted to record (in a way) my journey to hopefully one day becoming a published writer. I am pleased to announce that that is still the goal.

Let’s just call that the “Places I Am Going” bit of this post. One day I still hope to have a published book under my belt that one day you all (or anyone really) can just walk into Barnes and Noble and see there just sitting on a shelf. Yeah… that would be pretty cool.

Right now, I am going through a major life change. Which is also cool! And scary! And fun! And weird. But all in a good way! That is “Where I Am” lol.

I don’t know how much I will be posting on here or when or what. But I am going to try to write something at least once a month. It might not be scheduled poetry or snapshots like I used to do but I will be writing something. Something.

How enticing, am I right? 😉

All my sarcasm aside, I am just happy to be here typing away again at my computer. Regardless of who decides to read my dribble, if anyone even wants to anymore. Now we are heading into the “Places I Have Been Bit” and I totallyyyyyy get it if that’s not your cup of tea. The important bits about my blog I put first, so feel free to jump ship now if need be.

I won’t judge you.

After the past seven months I’ve had, trust me, I won’t. But you can feel free to judge me if you want. At this point I don’t really care. And I don’t mean that crassly. I just mean that I realized a lot of things are more important than me worrying about what others think. What’s important is what I think of myself, and that I listen to myself and trust myself. And I am. I really am.

At the end of 2021, my life started to control itself. Let me explain. I was no longer the driver of my destiny. I was letting destiny, drive me. Work got hectic, my healthy habits I had taken years to build started to chip away and then, I stopped doing the things I love most.

I had been working at the same place for the past three years. When I started I was an anxious, lost and unconfident little girl who was a rock stuck at the bottom of the ocean. Gradually, the more time passed I came to love my job and the people I worked with. I wrote at home in my off hours working on my blog, writing the first draft of my story The Lowell Saga, and reading book upon book upon book. I wasn’t nervous anymore I loved everything I was doing. I found myself and my confidence grew. Then as time wore on things started to change. The pandemic happened, attitudes at work shifted, and suddenly I couldn’t focus on anything else besides waking up and going to work and coming home. I stopped hanging out with my friends. I started binge eating on the weekends that eventually slipped into the weekdays. I stopped playing video games. I stopped reading.

I stopped writing.

At the end of March 2022 I caught COVID again, for the second time. I was home sick from work for two weeks. Those two weeks of solid rest opened my eyes. I hadn’t had a week off in over three years. It took me getting sick to realize that I had lost control of my life. I wasn’t happy at my job anymore, I gained weight, I wasn’t seeing my friends except for rare occasions, and I didn’t have any time to enjoy my life’s passions.

So, in May I left my job. Anxious and lost again, but having gained the confidence that everything will be okay. I learned all I could and now it’s time to move on.

I am not a trapped rock anymore, more like a little blue fish drifting through the deep. And that is me.

ALL me. The place and person I need to be right now.

Let us see where this goes…

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