Previous Post: Writing is Hard | WIP Update | September 2022 | Healthy
October is one of my favorite months. The weather is perfect for sweaters and boots, I usually feel productive and creative, and there is just something spooky in the air. In the best kind of way of course π
October started out very rough. I didn’t get the job I was pinning for, I fell back into old unhealthy habits and my anxiety spiked again and then again and then again…. Usually all of this would have been enough to debilitate me and write the month off as terrible. But I won’t do that. Despite all the misfortune I fell into, this October was a good month after all. Not just because it’s one of my favorite months in general haha but because of how I handled my misfortune.
I was depressed about not getting the job I really wanted so I let myself feel the sadness for a bit but, I didn’t revel in it. I picked myself up. I set a new goal and made a plan to get there. Then, I told myself that job wasn’t meant for me and there is something better out there waiting. Now, I am waiting to hear back about another job I applied for so *fingers crossed*!!
I recognized the unhealthy habits that I started to fall into again, and I forced myself out. I paused when I found myself falling into the same old patterns I had been dying to change, and you know what… for months and months of trying to change I think I finally am. I finally am. It was easier than it ever was before to pull back and recognize my mistakes before they got too far. For months I struggled to do this whenever I hit a roadblock. But, this October, it was easier than it ever has been to not let my emotions get to me to the point of hating myself and not being able to do anything for days. I still struggle but I am doing better. Improving.
And as for my anxiety, that is a condition I know I will live with for the rest of my life. It is not curable but it is manageable and recently, I feel I am coming to terms with how to manage it and not let it overtake my life. It will not control me, I will control it.
So October though difficult at times was a good month.
Writing wise my editing of The Lowell Saga continues… since it falls into the fantasy genre I have been tweaking the world building and trying to add more and more nuances to make it feel more fleshed out. One of the greatest aspects of a fantasy story for readers is the world! What I have learned about my writing process is that my first drafts tend to be nothing more than skeletons. I start with the characters, and their bones. All my stories start with the people they’re about and that is how I get the itch to write. During the first draft, I get a whole lot out of the spirit of the characters, a semblance of plot and a blush of world building but the story itself doesn’t have blood or veins or skin or flesh. Editing is when I add all that stuff in making the second draft more full and able to breathe on its own. Not move yet but at least it can breathe. At least that is how the first book of The Lowell Saga is progressing.
And a result of that is my drafts are unusually very short for first drafts. But that’s okay. Writing is a process and everyone writes differently. I am, after such a rough ride this year, just happy to be writing again!
Hopefully in November I will be starting to implement all my changes in writing the second draft. I am not scared, but excited. Though I also know I have a long road ahead of me. But because of changing my mindset all through the past few months, writing isn’t a chore for me anymore. It’s fun! I am writing this story for me and maybe I will be lucky enough to share it one day.
Also Happy Halloween π
Till next month,
(Currently still revising the first draft of TLS…..)
Jai Lynn 
I can’t believe October FLEW by so fast. I hope though, that November is easier on you. Continue to relish in all of the fall things while you wait to hear if you got the job you applied for!! I am crossing my fingers for you! β‘β‘
Despite how rough anxiety can be, continue to celebrate all of your small wins. One day you will look back and be so, so proud of yourself for pushing yourself to do such amazing things despite the fear, the pain and suffering-for not ignoring how you feel and listening to your body. That takes so much self-love… the toughest thing to practice when you’re in the swells of depression/anxiety.
You are strong and I am proud of you, Jai!! I seriously can’t believe I’m seeing the words second draft. OMG that is incredible!!! I am cheering you on– always!! xoxo
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Hi Jenni! I’m sorry I haven’t responded to your email yet, life has gotten so hectic but I am going to try to get back to you this week!
And thank you so much for the kind words!! It has been a rough go the past few months. One of the hardest things I have ever done was listen to my body. I literally could NOT not listen anymore.
And thanks!! I am SO excited that I am on the 2nd draft!! Working on this story is so cathartic for me, regardless of whether it even sees the light of day of being published. I am writing it for me and that has made all the difference π
Sending good luck and all the light and love your way!!! β€
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I’m so proud to hear about the progress you’ve made with your anxiety and for getting up again even when life gets you down. SO proud of you and keeping my fingers crossed for that other job, I believe in you!!
So happy to hear you’ve been having fun with your writing as well again, wishing you all the best for this new draft! π
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Aww Marie thank you!! Your comment made me smile haha π I believe in YOU and your WIP as well!! We will keep writing together and one day both of our books will on the shelves at bookstore one day!! β€ β€ β€
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Hey Jai!
Firstly I want to say I am in love with your name – it’s so pretty, and your lil disclaimers on the sidebar just made me want to get to know you more (in a non creepy way haha) so here I am browsing your content!
I’m so proud and happy that you’re able to recognise your self-growth! It’s not easy pulling yourself out of ruts but also having to manage your anxiety.
I’m rooting for your future job applications. I’m sorry you were disappointed but like you said, I also believe everything happens for a reason! The things that are meant to be will always work out so continue working hard and looking after yourself!
Also very impressed to read that you have finished your first draft of a fantasy novel! May I ask how many pages and how long it took you to write?
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Hi Kiya!! Thank you for the lovely comment!!
Yeah my anxiety is a life long struggle but one I am lucky enough to be able to manage! And yes! I do believe everything happens for a reason and, even though we may never find out that reason, we have to have faith that everything will work out and keep moving forward!!
So! My fantasy novel took me a year to get the first draft down but I had been plotting it for two years before I actually started to write the story. I took the time to plot out the world and the magic system and the characters. Hopefully in the future I can speed up this process! All in good time though since this is my first attempt at writing a story that isn’t fancfiction lol! Usually when writing you look at word count since most publishers like to see that instead of pages. A debut fantasy novel is usually around 100,000 words and so far my first draft was 80,000 words. With my process I tend to start with smaller drafts and then add on more words with revisions! It’s the opposite of what a lot of other writers do. Usually first drafts have excessive amounts of words and need to be cut down but lol I guess I like to be different haha π Great question!! Are you writing your own novel?
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Oh wow – I must admit, I always find myself resources to plan plots, characters etc out…but I can’t handle it – I get eager to write and just dive in LOL.
Do you have tip post/guide for planning novels?
What kind of fanfiction did you use to write? And awesome for breaking out into new genres π
TBH, I like your method and I think I would also do the same? Because it would be heart breaking to figure out what to delete out? I’m so indecisive that I’d rather have the issue of needing to write more than having too much aha.
I use to write a lot on Wattpad – had a few finished novels but none I was proud of haha. There is one that I paused midway and it’s around 100K words and I wish to rewrite and maybe finish it one day because that one, I am proud of.
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Yes! I can relate to that feeling too! When all you want to do is just jump right in and start getting the story down because you are so excited π It’s a really great feeling!
With my current work in progress that was how I started too! I had a draft zero I guess I could say when I first came up for the idea for The Lowell Saga (the current to be changed title of the story I am working on) but the further I got the more I realized I had to stop and start planning ahead with the plot and especially the worldbuilding. That’s where I am really struggling.
A tip I would give is of course primarily keep writing!! That’s number one. Writing a book is hard and so many quit before it’s finished. If you can keep going your are already on your way to finishing it!
Another tip I would give is take your time and know that frustration will come. It hits every writer and you think your work is terrible but at one point every author wrote terribly! There are so many different ways to write a book and none are wrong! You have to find your own path and you will if you keep going π
I used to write Pokemon fan fiction! LOL! That brings me back!
Go back and edit that 100K novel on Wattpad someday! Don’t forget about it! If you are proud of it maybe one day it will make it onto a bookshelf! I would love to see that β€
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Don’t I feel special getting essay responses back – my fav kinda people!
I think fantasy is such a wild and cool genre to venture into. I think it requires a lot more effort and brainpower – you’ve literally created a whole new world and you have to think the hows, whys everything through so perfectly to ensure nothing falls apart!
I wish you all the best on your writing adventure. I haven’t had the chance to stalk your content properly but when your book is published/made available, please do let me know! I would love to support it, review it and hype you up!!
Thank you for you tips and lovely words β€
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I hope November is good for you and manage to implement the changes you talked about. Good luck with your writing. Keep going. Thank you for sharing.
Lauren
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Lauren thank you for stopping by! And yes I promise I will keep writing!
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