"The Winter Wolf"

Photo by Neil Rosenstech on Unsplash

Tip toeing
and slowly going
the hunter arrives.

Slow breathing
with fangs teething
quietly the prey lies.

The wood at night
and only the moon’s light
makes for no fun.

Cold nips at their face
tracks left without trace.
Must remember how to run.

For the wind, one ear
the other for anything else near
the wolf shall wait.

The hunter knows no place,
tracking his victims case
by case, guided by fate.

Then, they see each other.
Willed by our Earth mother
in playing this game again.

With each year’s going
the seasons’ sowing
the fight animal and humane.

The wolf growls
and the hunters bows,
hitching the arrow.

The wolf leaps
and the hunter reaps
the last of winter’s sorrow.

Blood on the snow
melts red and slow
So spring will return
once more.

Living Life # 18 "Decorating The Tree"

( a collection of independent vignettes)

The tree was taller than she was. Green as the forest in summer beyond her backyard and as prickly as the thorns on the dead bouquet in the vase on the counter. Tooth and nail it dragged through the back door leaving a trail of needles like gingerbread cookie crumbs right to the far corner of the living room. It did not come easy, but she didn’t back down. Not even as she had to hoist it into the stand with only minimal help from the wall.

A stepladder was necessary for the lights, and even though there was no one there to help she took her time. The stool danced around the wood floor and the lights were placed string by string until it was her feet waltzing around the ground instead. The cord was gently plugged in and then the house seemed a little brighter, the fir now lit up like a star. The tree warmed up to her a bit then. But only just a bit.

The red beads were next, and then the gold tinsel. The tree certainly wasn’t going to bend for her but she didn’t need it too. She rose to meet it again and again, and swayed around and around. The fire in the background crackled and snarled but it was only empty threats. The light emanating from the small space was too golden and too warming to be anything but a sarcastic friend. Being inside, the tree realized, was a lot different than being outside. A little more snug and a little less lonely.

It paid no mind to the silver bells she planted along its branches, and the red ornaments felt as light as air as if they were barely there. The rest that were piled on were mismatched and worn. A little blue sled with the year 1982 scribbled on the bottom, a fading snowman with two buttons missing, eight bronze deer then four gold ones and a rocking horse no bigger than her palm. Before long all the spaces were filled and instead of feeling weighted and tired the tree noticed the perk to its branches in the mirror across the room. Maybe it should have been a little nicer to her on the way in. She had plucked it out of the solitude of the harsh winter wind, gifted it a steady stream of water and shelter, then given it decorations to cloth and adorn it. The tree liked her a bit more than it had before, making its emotions swell now to twice what they had been.

A drop of sweat like a melted snowflake slid down her temple, and the tree could see she was tired. She absently moved to put her hand down on the end table nearby and the tree wanted to warn her but it had no mouth to speak.

When the glass shattered, it was loud. The wit of the fire was drowned, and the glow of white lights on the tree’s branches left her eyes. Quietly, the young woman bent down and as she kneeled careful of the broken bits, she looked much smaller than she had when she originally hauled the tree in. More like a girl, left alone in a house, with a few modest lights and threadbare ornaments that really didn’t matter much if one thought about it, unless they were reflected in her eyes.

The picture was face up on the floor, but in the shadow of where the lights couldn’t reach. Piece by piece and sliver by sliver she picked the edges up, cupping her hand to her chest. The picture, still in the frame, was last. Another tiny snowflake ran down her cheek, but the tree knew there were was no sky above their heads. She took a deep breath and in the next moment she rose and walked away. A minute passed, and then two. The tree wondered if maybe it should have at least tried to warn her, though it had no means to speak words. But then, she came back. And she wasn’t alone.

There was petite angel cupped in her hands where the glass had just been.

The stool made its return, and with the fire cackling quietly in the background, she rose one step then another. Even then though she could barely reach the top. An inch more of height and everything would have been okay. She didn’t have that inch though, so the tree gave her the inch instead.

With all its might it buckled its trunk and the young woman stretched her toes until finally then the angel was set on top. Blonde hair, white gown, a happy mouth and golden wings graced the room.

The young woman stepped down from the stool, and that’s when tree liked her most of all with the lights in her eyes, the fir needles in her hair and the angel in her smile.

Snapshot 11/30/19 // Stuffed From Stuffing (& Starving for Gingerbread)

Currently listening: “The Christmas Song“- Nat King Cole
Currently watching: Friends S10
Currently (re) reading: Clockwork Princess by Cassandra Clare
Currently playing: Sims 4

November, November
you passed so fast
I want to remember
each memory to the last

November always goes by too fast for me. Thanksgiving, the bitter cold days seeping in, and the random warm days that trick you into believing summer will be back soon. Also, NaNoWriMo. This month always reminds me of writing and pumpkin bread and stuffing. Gosh, I love stuffing.

My November goals were:

  1. Write 25,000 words for my WIP. That was a failure, but a failure I am very proud of. By setting my goal to work on the story I found out exactly what was wrong with it and why I was struggling so much with it. It needed to be expanded upon. I need more information and to do more research (which I’m doing now). The original WIP I intended to write for NaNo was just a small cog in the machine of a trilogy that this story is turning into and I am so excited.
  2. Post at least 1 Living Life vignette again this month. I did do this one.
(smirk)

December goals (and candy canes, not coals):

  1. Research, research, research! I’m going to keep digging down deep into the black void of the internet for this new expanded WIP. If I don’t come back you know what happened lol.
  2. Post 2 Living Life vignettes this month. I think I can do this. So I’ll put it on here.
  3. Redesign my website a bit. I’ve been meaning to update somethings and move a few bits around. So, why not now. The present is always the best time to do something. That way it will look better for 2020 too.
  4. Play my violin more. I’ve been neglecting my beloved instrument because of work and laziness which is no excuse. I’m actively going to try to practice more this month.

Also can I just say I love Christmas so much. I’m just gonna throw that out there so be prepared for many holiday themed vignettes and poems. I’m warning you they. are. coming.

Also I had a great dream where I got to co-write a book with Maggie Stiefvater. I wish that would really happen omg. Just throwing that out there universe, if you are listening. I also got the opportunity to see Frozen 2 on its opening night. Let me just tell you guys I loved this movie so much. If you loved the first one you definitely need to see the second. It doesn’t try to upstage the first movie at all but continue it on, if that makes sense, and the music and growth of all the characters is just fantastic. (SPOILERS AHEAD) I loved the scene of Elsa fighting the Nokk and the song, Show Yourself, is also BEAUTIFUL. Elsa shows that she only needs herself to be complete and that is the absolute truth. Romance and partnership is perpetuated in society as something that we all need to feel “complete” and “loved” but all you really need to feel those things is to be yourself and love yourself. Just like Elsa, who knew she was different and fought it until she decided to accept herself and her powers and ultimately find the greatest happiness within herself. Olaf was also hilarious AF and who doesn’t love Anna and Kristof 😀 It is said so much but it really is true, just BE YOU. Unapologetically, wholly, wonderfully, unforgivably YOU. That is the way to achieve the greatest sense of peace. THANK YOU DISNEY<3

What I Read:

Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo. I… I loved this book. It was real, it was raw. I got SO attached to Alex and TOO attached to Darlington. Man. And Dawes, Dawes, Dawes and college me live on the same plane of existence. The magic was so real to me. The history and references in all of the tombs of the Ancient Eight, the privilege problem. My goodness this book. 100% worth the read and I can’t wait till the next. It’s not for everyone definitely (lots of heavy and traumatic topics are explored) but to me this book was excellent in how in handled everything. The right amount of dark side without becoming depressing and all this magic so grounded in reality. I- dang. Five stars, hands down.
All the Crooked Saints by Maggie Stiefvater. I really enjoyed this book and all the magical realismness (is that a word?) with the personifications of the character’s darknesses, and how they overcame them. It’s an atmospheric, simple story with a very important lesson. When the characters’ darknesses manifest that is the first miracle, and the second miracle will occur when the character knows how to overcome their darknesses. The magical realism in this book is very well done. Maggie always does a great job in all her books of making magic seem touchable. Daniel was my favorite character but all of the cast was real and alive. I recommend reading it!
Clockwork Princess by Cassandra Clare. This is my favorite series of books of all time. This is my sixth read through of Clockwork Princess and it won’t be the last. We all have those books that we will never, ever grow tired of. No matter how many times we read them. The Infernal Devices are my books. What does Tessa say? “‘Words have the power to change us.‘” Yes, yes they do.

What I’ll Be Writing:

  1. Living Life vignettes
  2. Holiday poetry (joy to the world, you lucky lot lol)
  3. WIP snippets
  4. Monthly Snapshot! post

As promised last month here is a snippet from my WIP:

Rue scowled. “I don’t like you.”
“The feeling is mutual.” Evans replied.

Haha, yes short and sweet but I kept my promise 😉

Some posts I enjoyed this month:

My round up of November posts:

Bring on the holiday cheer December, you are the only think that is going to keep me going till summer is here again. I wish you all lots of hot chocolate, thoughtful presents, great company and happy holidays to come!!

How were all your Novembers? (Do they go by as fast as mine?) What are the books that you will never tire of (that are part of your soul)? I’d love to hear about them!

Till next time,

Living Life #17 “________”

(a collection of independent vignettes)

Tick, tock.

You stare at it. The longer you look the more it looks back into you.

The more you start to hate yourself for all the time you are wasting. And have wasted in the long, endless days before.

All the research and all the work and long nights, and eons spent typing away at the computer. all. for. nothing.

Because everything you had written, you now hate. And so you are back at the beginning again.

The dreaded blank page.

And time is rushing by.

Tick, tock.

NaNoWriMo 2019: (mini) Update 3

November 17, 2019

Just a quick update! (Like fo’ real.) My research is coming along for my new project, this expanded version of WIP from my original NaNo 2019 novel, this year. I’m having a lot of fun with it and as I research I’m handwriting the notes. This helps my mind digest and engage with the material more, and from that comes ideas upon ideas upon ideas!

I have also been writing little snippets about the characters to get into their heads better. Just quick, short paragraphs that are fun to write and fun (for me at least) to read.

Hopefully when I get more of the details down I’ll be able to share a bit 🙂

(told ya it was quick!) How are all your NaNo novels coming?

Till next time,

NaNoWriMo 2019: Update 2

November 10, 2019

I reached 12,022 words. That is nearly to the halfway mark, when my goal was just to get 25K. Although, I still have a lot of work ahead of me. A lot more than you would think and I’ll explain.

This week as I came to reach the near middle of my goal for my story I realized something. About 12K in, I found it hard to write. I was struggling again to fill the space on what should happen next and most of my characters were falling flat. Some were jumping at me though from off the page (in my head at least) and trying to grab my attention. The problem I came to realize this week was that I was coming at my story from the wrong time in the plot. I needed to go back farther in time in order to fully give the this story its proper way of being told.

Also I needed to lighten it up a bit. It was getting pretty gritty and philosophical so I needed to tone that down immeasurably. But, I would not have realized all this without first attempting to write the story. So NaNo was not a loss in the least. But a win.

That 12K that I did write is also a win. Those words will hold a place, just a smaller, better paced space in the new draft. In order to write that new draft though I need to fall down into the research hole. I’ll still be writing everyday as I do the extra research but not as quickly as I was going. I’ll be doing character sketches because the original ones I had planned are either taking on a larger role or moving to a smaller one, all still important but in a better place for their stories to be told. I’ll also be doing some world building exercises to get a feel for the different vibe I want to go for. So not really traditional NaNo writing but still writing nonetheless and that is important.

I’m choosing to look at this as a win but when I first realized it I felt such a huge crushing despair. That was because I had already done so much work and now I had to start over again. Also because it was November now and everyone was writing their stories now. But that was the wrong way of looking at things and when I changed how I thought I felt so much better.

I’m still writing, just slower, and every step leads to making this story the best it can be. That’s something I’m proud of now and still will be when it’s finished.

Writing is hard. I knew that. Susan Dennard, an accomplished and published author, said it to me too. Every true writer knows. No matter how much you’ve achieved or experienced writing is still hard. But that is what makes it worth it. Let’s keep going guys!!! How are you NaNo novels coming?

Till next time,

NaNoWriMo 2019: Update 1

November 3, 2019

Another day done, another day done, another day bites the dust.

So, it is Day 3 of NaNoWriMo and…. I’m tired. Also, worried and hopeful and sad and happy and lost and also very cold ALL at the same time. So that’s something, right? Good? Maybe?

My project for this year is the same story I’ve been trying to sing for nearly three years now but finally I think I found a few of the right notes to turn this WIP into a finished song. (A lousy first draft of a song but STILL a song!) I’m determined and I won’t quit until I get it done. (It’s been three years and I still haven’t given up lol.) Metaphors aside, my goal this NaNo is to go for 25,000 words instead of the traditional 50K because from prior years experience I have never reached that goal. So this is much more realistic and attainable for me because, as I have learned through experience, I am a slow writer.

So far I’m at 5,008 words and honestly, I AM VERY PROUD OF MYSELF. I’m above my target word count and I just hope I continue with the momentum. In years past I usually die down at the middle of the month unfortunately and this year I’m hoping to counteract that. Starting out strong is a good indication so far. (Hopefully my curse will be broken!)

This is just a mini check-in since my posting is going to be sporadic throughout the month (because of NaNo) and my mood is going to be erratic throughout this month (because of NaNo). Crossing my fingers I’ll be in a pleasant state of mind to do more check-ins throughout November but no promises.

Are any of you participating in NaNoWriMo? How’s it going so far? (Are you also a mess of emotions?)

Till next time,