Living Life #26 "Do it."

Today is yours. No one can take that from you.

If you want to sleep in because your head hurts, then do it. If you want to sit and stare at the rain, do it. If you want to take a walk then just go, don’t come back till you have had your fill. If you want to pull all the books down from the shelves and build a fort to hide in, do it. If you want to do laundry and put extra fabric softener in, do it. If you want to let the dishes sit, then let them sit. And you can sit too.

No one knows how you feel but yourself. If today you are not right then that’s okay. Really, it is. One day you will feel right again. I promise. You have to have some bad to appreciate when it’s good.

So just remember.

Today is yours. No one can take that from you and that is the most magical thing of all.

Photo by Tonny Tran on Unsplash

"Broken Bones"

Broken bones,
broken bones.
Straying from
the straight
and narrow.

Broken bones,
broken bones.
Sticking out
just like
splintered arrows.

Broken bones,
broken bones.
All of us
once made
of perfect form.

Broken bones,
broken bones.
Now all
crooked and bent
from the storm.

Don’t cross paths
with one of us.
We healed wrong,
left forgotten
for too long.

Fractured
and cracked
but still strong
despite the world
doing us wrong.

All us
broken bones,
broken bones.

Photo by Harlie Raethel on Unsplash

Snapshot 3/31/20 // “The Labyrinth”

Currently listening:Wonderwall” – Oasis
Currently watching: Dr. Pimple Popper S2
Currently playing: Animal Crossing: New Horizons
Currently reading: Neon Genesis Evangelion Vol. 1 by Yoshiyuki Sadamoto

I’m just going to come right out and say it. March was a hell of a month. I think we can all agree with that on a global level. This virus has knocked the Earth right off its feet and right now what is most important is to STAY. HOME. Please. You are not invincible, no matter how much you think you won’t get sick. A person can still carry the virus without showing any symptoms and transmit it to someone who could be extremely vulnerable. Wash your hands, keep social distance, and thank and pray for all the workers out there (doctors, nurses, grocery store workers, law enforcement, ect.) that are working to keep us alive and safe.

(Leo, forever my role model, doing what’s good! )

March Goals:

  1. Research, research, research (Round 3)! I’m checking this goal, even though I am not entirely finished with it. I have been doing a bit of this, diligently, every day. Moving forward I’m going to add some pre-writing into this routine, so I’m not just bogged down with science, history and logistics. (Which I love, don’t get me wrong, but in small doses.) Gotta get some magic in that mix!
  2. Stick to my planned blogging schedule! Major check, as you can see! 😀 With an extra post for St. Patrick’s Day! It’s one of my favorite holidays where my family and I drink whisky, make colcannon and eat an unhealthy amount of Irish soda bread. I love St. Patrick’s Day, if you can’t tell ❤ Especially in times of crisis you have to remember what makes you happy, and stay positive!
  3. Become more interactive on Twitter! Half a check, I’ve been reading and checking Twitter much longer and more often this month… so I’m heading in the right direction.
(Like for real tho, I was so ready)

April (the month with the rain and flowers which I need both of right now) Goals:

  1. Continue researching, world building, prewriting, plotting, and outlining my WIP! I’ve changed my mind about a few things considering my WIP and have decided to go back to an original story idea I had my senior year of college. At that time, I was not ready for that story… but after it being ALWAYS in the back of my mind, even so many years later, I think I’m ready to go at it. The other WIP I was originally working on since January needs to simmer a bit. This one I’m currently tackling is setting my mind on fire. That’s how I know it’s. so. ready. I’m not giving myself a time limit on completing this goal so you’ll probably see it all year, spoiler alert lol. I’m just going to keep doing it little by little and at my own pace. One day it will be drafted. I’m determined.
  2. Keep my desk clean! I have some piles on and around my desk I need to go through. Little by little I am going to work on getting rid of them.
  3. Stick with my blog posting schedule promise! I’ve done great so far, just holding myself accountable each month helps to make this goal a habit. So far, I’m rocking it 😀
  4. Become more interactive on Twitter! I’m slowly stepping into this goal since I have been checking Twitter more often. I’m going to attempt to do some tweeting this month. I know there is huge writing community on Twitter that I want to be a part of but some part of me might be nervous and may be procrastinating it a little lol (especially with all that’s going on in the world now). If you have an account though I would love to connect! My handle is @jaiiiilynn4
  5. Make submissions again with my writing! I have to do some looking into this. I did two submissions last year, and one got published! This year I would like to beat my record by trying to submit three pieces of writing to some online publications, and *fingers crossed* hopefully get at least one piece published again.
  6. Change my profile pic! I want to update it to something different and fresh 😀
  7. Be less stressed out! Lol, omg this one is easier said than done. I just want to be more relaxed at home, and at work with my family, friends and co-workers.
  8. Practice the piano and my violin again! I miss music and haven’t played much because I’ve been busy. Music means a lot to me though and I’m not going to give it up because it makes me so happy ❤
(Ditto, Hermione, ditto.)

What I Read:

Crooked Kingdom by Leigh Bardugo. Yes. Just yes. I LOVED EVERY SECOND OF IT. Everyone ended up where they needed to be. Unfortunately I got spoiled before hand with one of the character deaths so I don’t know how I would have reacted if I hadn’t known  but as I was reading the story it made total sense. Spoiler alert! Kaz and Inej holding hands omg, that was one of the most heartwarming beautiful parts of the book. I loved it so much. Perfect and then he gets her the ship and she gets to see her parents!! My heart is full. Jesper and Wylan are in a good place. ❤️ Nina, beautiful wonderful Nina my heart breaks for her. Mathias’s death, though terrible, makes sense to me. His story came full circle. Their story was beautiful to me and now that I have seen it to the end I can’t imagine it any other way. Pekka’s ending too I found was very appropriate. Just as harsh, maybe more so than killing him and I really respect how Kaz (Leigh) handled it. Death would be too easy and I feel like a lot of writers rely on that as the end to villains but this was brilliant. Brick by brick Kaz tore him down till he was but a shell of his former self and that in a much less violent way is a sort of death itself, but worse, much worse because Pekka is still alive. If I haven’t said it already brilliantly handled. Five stars ⭐️, very satisfying conclusion to the duology. Spoilers over. If you haven’t read any of Leigh Bardugo’s work I highly recommend her if you are into fantasy and fabulous writing. I hope one day to write books half as good as hers.
The Language of Thorns: Midnight Tales and Dangerous Magic by Leigh Bardugo. This was a beautiful rendition of fairytale retellings to expand the world of the Grishaverse, and I think I like Bardugo’s retellings more than some of the original stories she drew her inspiration from. These stories are not going to end in the ways you think they are, and wholly depart from what you know about basic fairytales. The prince isn’t always the hero, your family isn’t always on your side, and the girls in these tales don’t need anyone because they are going to save themselves. My favorite was The Soldier Prince overall because it drew inspiration from The Nutcracker, and that is one of my favorite fairytales of all time but each of the stories is beautiful. All of them are well written, make you think, and teach you a lesson that you didn’t expect to be coming. Not to mention, the illustrations all throughout are unreal. So gorgeous. 100% will be rereading this collection in the future.
Looking For Alaska by John Green. I liked this book. That being said, I don’t think I will ever read it again. Not that that is a bad thing! I learned a lot from the story and I think it definitely changed how I view the world, and death. (SPOILER) The main premise of the book is about having guilt and living with that, having questions (that will never be answered), and most importantly having hope, even in the face of death. That there is something after, whether or not an afterlife exists if that makes sense (SPOILER END). I’m not articulating this well I think but that is all the more reason for you all to read the book haha! I don’t know. I’m writing this paragraph after just having finished it. I saw the ending coming but I felt that the ending was inevitable, and so I feel like the story went full circle, and I’m happy with that. I don’t know if I have ever felt this way before about a book. If I could impart one thing to y’all just cherish being alive and being present. Look out for one another and don’t focus wholly on yourself. That being said don’t become so selfless that you forget to take care of yourself too, of course. Find the balance. All in all though I liked this book, got what I needed and now I don’t ever want to read it again.

What I’ll Be Writing:

  • Poetry- posted every Wednesday
  • Living Life vignettes- posted every other Friday
  • Alternate Reality flash fiction collection- posted the last Tuesday of the month
  • Snapshot! monthly recap- posted the last day of every month
  • Announcements- posted as needed

All of my writings are independent of each other and stand alone so no need to read any of the previous work to understand. If you want more information about any of the above, you can check out the About page on my site or just click here.

My Round Up of March Posts:

Sending love and healthy vibes out there for you all ❤ Stay strong, this too shall pass and please stay home. That’s my public service announcement for the day. Ahem, now if you’ll excuse me I believe I do hear Animal Crossing calling my name… (I’M COMING RUDY!)

What are some things you guys are doing to pass the time? Anything interesting? Let me know in the comments below!

Till next time,

Flash Fiction – "Creation"

It was a game she liked to play.

The steam rose into the air. Jasmine, rose, the caffeine of the black tea all blended together into one. It made the room smell like flowers. From the right corner of her desk the tiny porcelain cup let the steam fly in a steady stream, the tulips painted onto the glass dancing in breeze that wasn’t there. The cup would never cool and in turn, let the room fill with everlasting spring.

The writer looked up from her keyboard to the cup at the corner of her desk. Dew on the grass, fresh air dancing in the sun, bright beautiful flowers all permeating into the essence of the room.

Across the room, a glimmer of steel caught the writer’s sight. Slowly, she watched the shape coalesce before her eyes. The tip appeared first, silver as stars and sharper than a corner, with the body following after. Long, but lean enough to be a comfortable weight when held, and built to move like the wind. It’s handle was wrought in sunlight itself, golden and as shining as the day.

She rose from her desk slowly, letting her fingers linger to tap on the surface. It was right there just waiting for her to take it. Some part of her though still believed she was dreaming. So… she reached for the tea first, because that was more likely to be real. Her hand reached out only to pause before the little porcelain handle. Then gingerly, like petting a strange animal, she let her fingers tap on the surface. Hot to the touch. Then, braver, she reached all the way and nearly burned her hand when the steaming cup was in her palms. When the tea went down, it was like drinking from a meadow. The writer put the cup back on the desk.

One step, then two she crossed the room. The way the sunlight was streaming through the window almost made the sword seem like a mirage. As if when she reached out to touch it all she would find would be the wall. The writer steeled herself, letting her fingers reach… then close… fingertip… by fingertip around the golden handle. Her body was very still. Even after having played this game a few times before, she still could not believe that this was real life. The weight in her hand was not imagination by the way her bicep braced. Cautiously, she pointed the blade at the window.

There were a few other sentences she had written.

Once the sword was in the girl’s hand a shadow appeared as the wind blew east….

Through the open window a gust rocked the hinges of the shutters and sent a chill down her spine.

The strange scent of sugar burned to a crisp pervaded the sweet smell of spring. Magic was afoot…

Her nose crinkled. It wouldn’t be long now.

The shadow moved closer, the shape shifting with the wind, until it wasn’t a shadow but a someone at the window.

A clang rang the air as steel met steel. The someone said “Are you ready?”

Standing sword to sword, the writer answered “Always.” Then she smiled, the girl on the opposite side of the window smiling too.

A grand adventure was waiting just for them to go and meet it.

Photo by Florian Klauer on Unsplash

"Shadow"

Don’t
turn around.
For I will be there.

Don’t
look up.
For I will be there.

Don’t
stare
to the light.
For I will still
be right beside you.

Don’t
hide
in the dark.
Even if I’m not
visible
I am still
right here.

I,
alone,
will never
leave you.

That is the thing
about us.
Shadows
never die.

We were never
alive
to begin with.

Photo by Isai Ramos on Unsplash

Living Life #25 “The Thaw”

I remember my window where I couldn’t see outside. Frost had touched from corner to corner as if ghosts had been peaking in through the night as they passed by.

I remember my breath as it became visible before my face. Sighing was all I could do to get through the daze my mind had fallen into from seeing too many gray days.

I remember my hands rubbed raw red and numb. No matter how I clenched them or how long I kept on the mittens they rarely thawed.

I remember the moment when that all changed.

I look out the window and the sky isn’t gray but bright, ocean blue. As if the sea had somehow floated into the air, and the fish turned to clouds of fluffy white cotton.

I look at the grass where for what seemed like years there had only been slush. I can see the concrete of the street with the sun glinting off and rushing away the memory of the black ice that was once underneath.

And I look at the tulips, just starting to peak up from their perches. Purple, red, orange, and yellow. Colors of a sunrise peaking over the world. I had forgotten in the long days of winter what color looked like. Until now.

Spring has finally come, and now I am awake.

Photo by Anton Darius on Unsplash

“Lucky”

I found a four leaf clover
twirled it hand my hand
put it in my pocket
and lost it in the sand

I cried the whole way home
and you found me on the stair
I blubbered what had happened
and you gave me yours to share

You found it on the way
and immediately thought of me
I realized then and there
you’re the only luck I need to see

Photo by Amy Reed on Unsplash

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

Living Life #24 “Dame of Dust and Dirt”

It was a room with plenty pretty pink pens, bounties of billowing blue blankets, and a whopping of wrapping woozy wires webbed across the floor. The last time I saw the hardwood underneath was a long and distant time ago. In fact, it was around when last my sanity was also spotless and sanctimonious in space and time…. if I’m remembering correctly. A long and far time ago, indeed.

My fingers tap, tap, tapped against the table testing the threshold of tension and tears at my beck and call. It only made the dirt fly farther into the recesses of my small apartment space in lines of dust mites dancing in the mid morning light.

No. No. No.

I could do this no longer.

Vacuum and mop. A feather duster and cloth. Numbness of mind and too many worries bogging in kind. Pretty pink pens piling into the trash, billowing blue blankets stacked so tall they could crash, and the webbing wires, woozy and wrapped gathered in my hands and to the garbage they dash dash dashed.

Hours and hours, time needing to be lost to be found. The tiny apartment was at last bare and the stormy weather of my mind turned sunny and fair. Cinderella could hold no candle to see, cause I was my own prince and saving me.

When all was tidy and neat, this once princess of mess and disorder could finally sit write, and eat.

Photo by Volha Flaxeco on Unsplash