Vignette #30 “The Racetrack”

Before I can help it my fingers are flying across the keys, and I’m helpless to stop it. The thoughts are racing by, each one trying to overcome the others. Many succeed in flying straight ahead to the finish line, but some are left far enough behind to get trampled and lost in the mess on the track of my mind. My fingers are helpless in the competition. They just keep tapping and pressing and moving to the instructions they’re given, like announcers trying to keep the rest of the audience informed. The racing thoughts that get lost come out in bits of shattered fragments on the rapidly filling once blank page. A random horseshoe in the middle of a sentence that otherwise would have made perfect sense. A lost stirrup, ripped from the saddle lying by itself at the end of a paragraph, or a scrap of paper with the headline ripped from the top to be hidden somewhere else in the dirt of the track.

It takes a moment, after the burst, before I realize the race has ended. The winners are clear on the page. I need a deep breath because it’s over, and even though I haven’t even left my seat I am exhausted. I’m not part of the competition anymore, I’m a bystander, a visitor looking on from the stands. As I go through the sentences it is just like watching a recap on a screen. By the time I reach the last word, my mind and fingers in tandem have had to edit and cut. Getting rid of the things that don’t make sense, disregarding the racers that came in last, and painting the victorious in the appropriate light for the prize winning picture.

But this is just the derby, wait till the stakes get higher.

Photo by Jeff Griffith on Unsplash

©2020 Jai Lynn

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Flash Fiction – “Ghost Town”

It doesn’t matter if the air is empty. I’ll tell you the truth. It is never really empty.

It doesn’t matter if at night the city is quiet. I’ll tell you the truth. It is never really quiet.

My brother is standing right next to me and he is totally, completely fine. He’s thinking about dinner I’m sure, he is almost always ready to eat. Words are coming out of his mouth with that easy way he has as if everything is and will always be okay. I’ll tell you the truth. I am not okay.

To him the air is clear, the city is silent. To me the air is filled with things I wish I couldn’t see. Some people call them visions, others spirits. Most people hear nothing at all, but some of us hear the whispers, the moans. To me it always sounded more like crying, and right here this little pocket of the universe is full of tears.

“I’m thinking tacos?” My brother says offhandedly.

I shrug my shoulders, my back pained with tension but my voice calm. “Whatever you want.” Gently I pull him over to my side of the sidewalk. The gesture is somewhat to get him moving again, but mostly its just to avoid one of the ghosts.

Photo by Jr Korpa on Unsplash

©2020 Jai Lynn

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10 of My Favorite Feelings Tag

Life moves at the blink of an eye.

Now more than ever, with the world the way that it is right now, it’s important to slow down and remember what really matters in life. I’m sure all of us have had to take more than a few deep breaths these past few months, but in those breaths it’s the perfect moment to slow down and reflect on everything we do have that’s right in our worlds despite all the rest that isn’t.

I want to thank Xandria so much for creating this tag! If you haven’t checked out her blog yet, I highly recommend you do! She is such a ray of sunshine and positivity! 😀 Writing this post really relaxed me and brought a smile to my face as I thought of all my favorite feelings. It made me feel much more mindful about living my life in the moment, right here and now.

  1. Petrichor

I love going outside right after it rains. That first deep breath of fresh air is unlike any other smell in the world.

2. The Twilight Hours

I love that slip of time between dawn and sunrise or sunset and dusk. It’s such a strange, magical time of the day where it feels like anything can happen. It’s ephemeralness also makes it all the more special because you can only experience it for so long.

3. Surprise Laughter

Everyone knows this feeling. When all of a sudden something happens, and you totally caught off guard, just burst out laughing. Laughter is one of the most healing, stress relieving feelings in the world.

4. Mood Reading

A lot of us read but we don’t always read for enjoyment. Some things we are required to read but I love when I’m in a particular mood and I find the perfect book that embodies that particular mood. When the book I’m reading matches my feelings I feel like the world has come full circle.

5. The Ocean

I love looking at the ocean. I could go to the beach, stand and just look at the ocean for hours. It’s always changing, always rolling, always leaving but it also is never failing to come back.

6. Going to the Movies

I love going to the movies with my friends, but I haven’t been able to do this in forever because of current world problems. But, that feeling when the lights dim and the previews are over and the intro music starts playing…. I’m all there for that.

7. New York City

I love going to New York City. Whenever I’m there I’m surrounded by tall people, tall buildings and tall aspirations. It feels like an adventure every time I’m there, like wow this city can make all my dreams come true kinda feeling. I don’t think that’s universal for everyone who goes there but the City has always had a special place in my heart. You never know what’s going to happen, who you are going to see or what delicious food you are going to get to eat!!

8. High Intensity Exercise

This one is a double edged sword. To get to that adrenaline rush, I have to push myself to get into the zone of working out but once I’m there I feel so strong. Like I could fight a monster with my bare hands.

9. Wandering

I love to walk around. Especially places I’ve never been before. I want to see things I’ve never seen before and I want to people-watch and I want to see how this place in front of me is different from anything I’ve seen before. I’m always game for exploring and getting lost in the world around me.

10. Writing

This is my favorite feeling of all my favorite feelings. When everything melts away, your fingers flying, and it’s just you and the story playing in your mind. When you hit this level of emotion in writing it’s like the world you’ve created has come alive around you. Yes. This is my favorite favorite feeling. When I make imagination into reality.


Tags:
Sophie @ Sophie’s Corner
Sidharth @ Writing Rhymes
Olivia @ Purely Olivia
Helen Qin @ Confessions of a Doctor to be
The Orangutan Librarian

No pressure to do this!! Just if you want a fun tag to do 😀

What are some of your favorite feelings? Do the tag!! I’ll open it to everyone. Just don’t forget to tag Xandria in your post, and send me the link in the comments! I want to read about all your favorite feelings too!!

Till next time,

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Liebster Award #2

Hey guys!

Wow, I feel so honored to have been nominated again for the Liebster Award by my lovely friend Sidharth @Writing Rhymes. He is truly an amazing writer whose prose really hits deep. If you haven’t checked out his blog yet I recommend giving it a gander!

Rules

  • Thank the blogger who nominated you, and provide a link to their blog.
  • Answer the 11 questions given to you.
  • Share 11 facts about yourself.
  • Nominate 5-11 other bloggers.
  • Ask your nominees 11 questions.
  • Notify your nominees once you have uploaded your post.

Sidharth’s Questions for Me!

  1. What’s the one word that describes you best?

Hmm… I would have to say dedicated. If I love something I stick with it through and through even when things get rough.

2. Who are some of your most favorite writers?

Where to start? Maggie Stiefvater, Leigh Bardugo, Diana Wynne Jones and Erin Morgenstern to name a few!

3. Tell me about one of the most memorable moments of your life.

I remember my college graduation very clearly. That was a big day for me, and I had all my loved ones in one place there with me to celebrate.

4. What’s your outlook/motto in life?

My favorite motto is the Nike slogan. 😀 Just do it. I tell it to myself at least once a day.

5. A thing that you aim to convey through your blog?

Good question! Through my writing I hope to convey that life is worth living even when it gets tough (and it will always get tough). There is magic everywhere, the fact that we are alive breathing human beings is amazing in itself. Magic is everywhere. You just need to choose to see it.

6. What makes you truly happy in life?

My family and friends make me happy beyond all measure. I’m very lucky to have them.

7. What all are you doing in this lockdown phase to keep up the positive vibes?

Reading!! I read everyday. Also, cartoons. I watch too many cartoons.

8. Name one of your all-time favorite movies & why do you enjoy it so much?

I love Spirited Away. I can watch it over and over because everything about it (the music, characters, story) just relaxes me so much.

9. One aspect of your life that you intend to improve upon?

Writing! I want to keep writing and writing and writing so that one day I can hopefully publish a book.

10. If you could have a superpower then what would it be & why?

I want super strength. I’m on the smaller side so I would love to surprise everyone and be able to lift a truck over my head. #goals

11. What do you like the most about my blog/writings & any suggestions for me to improve as a blogger?

I love that your writings are very thought provoking and evoke strong feelings. Keep writing!

11 Facts About Me

  1. I used to hate pancakes (but now I love them).
  2. I like country music.
  3. My Hogwarts house is Slytherin.
  4. I’m addicted to Animal Crossing: New Horizons right now.
  5. I love the ocean so much but I am terrified of it.
  6. I dislike Italian ice. I prefer ice cream all the way.
  7. I tend to take on too much at once and burn myself out.
  8. I’ve started doing yoga in the morning this past month (and I love it)!
  9. I love hot coffee and hate iced coffee.
  10. My first car was older than me.
  11. I have siblings!

My Nominations

Since this is my second nomination I’ll just leave this up to anyone who reads this post and wants to answer my weird questions, haha!

My 11 Questions for You

  1. If you could pick one element to control what would it be?
  2. What song never fails to bring tears to your eyes?
  3. Swimming or biking?
  4. Do you remember your dreams?
  5. If you could eat dinner with three fictional characters who would they be and why?
  6. Would you rather be able to fly a plane, drive a car, or navigate a boat?
  7. If given the opportunity would you ever want to travel to outer space?
  8. Do you believe in ghosts?
  9. What’s something you are obsessed with right now?
  10. Favorite fairytale?
  11. If given the choice (and you could only pick one) would you save your best friend or save the world?

Now I must retreat back to my cave to work on world building for my WIP. I’m debating on whether or not I should do a separate writing update post and not just a quick blurb in my monthly recap Snapshot but I haven’t decided yet. What do you guys think? Would you be interested in hearing about my writing process?

Till next time,

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“Fairytale”

Once upon a time…
is how I shall begin.
A castle wrought in ivory
and knights dressed in tin.

A jovial king
made of poultry
and sweet pie.
A dour queen
subdued to never question
how or why?

Money and power
the kingdom
had renowned.
With two princes to boot
hunting in the woods
to be found.

The older
of the two
was strong and fit
but the younger
was smarter and
drowning in wit.

One day the older got an idea
to take his little brother
out to hunt deer
only his motives
in the situation
were very unclear.

As usual they rode together
on black horses
of noble breed
until the older deserted
the younger, losing him
in the woods was the deed.

The younger called out
and realized too late
that he was alone,
left to die
with his whereabouts
unknown.

Days passed
into weeks
and the king and queen
mourned their loss
of the little prince
gone and unseen.

The prince
was never to return
do you see?
For in those
very woods
he built his own country.

He used his head
to find shelter
and food,
he made friends
with the foxes
wild and shrewd.

He survived
and grew older
in a castle of trees.
A kingdom of nature
that stretched all
the way to the seas.

Did you think this was
a story of revenge
and deceit?
Sometimes the best comeback
is living well
and not falling to defeat.

The younger prince knew
what his brother
had done,
so he did one better
and lived a happy life
under the sun.

Living well
is retribution
kept hush
because swords are flashier,
as is dying
in the dust.

But don’t think
the older prince
still got to be.
His kingdom fell to ruin
while the younger’s
is still free.

As this is a fairytale
and I the crafter
all that’s left to say is
that prince lived happily ever after.

Photo by Scott Walsh on Unsplash

©2020 Jai Lynn

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Vignette #29 “Wayfarer”

There is a path stretched out behind you. It’s concrete made with no bends in sight. As straight and narrow as the length of a computer screen, the width of an office desk, and the depth of the manager’s suit covered gut. The sun is the color of a fluorescent light, and the air is as stuffy as a hot classroom. Expectations, rules, the conventional like shackles pressing down onto your shoulders and binding your feet to the floor.

There is a path curving ahead of you, serpentine and shifting. There is no way to know what is going to come at you next on that mist covered trail. It changes its shape at every turn depending on the decisions you make, and there will be many decisions to make. Monsters lurk in the depths, some friendly and some not. Different than the behemoths you’ve fought before. These are stronger, and will swat the weak at heart away with a single slap across the face. There’s no tradition on this path to hang across your shoulders, but there is no guidance either.

And don’t forget the paths stretching to either side. You could go right where all the noise of the roaring waves is. Take off your shoes and let the sand crowd around your toes. Let the water call you in closer and closer till it caresses your skin. Let the call draw you in further and further till its over your head and all you can live, see, breathe is ocean.

Or, you could go left into the silence of the woods. Trees will stand over you and their leaves will cover you from the rain, while burrows will protect you from the wind when the storm comes to call. You can stay as long as you wish but this path can run around and around in circles confusing even the most skilled travelers. Everything will start to look the same until you forget there was anything different before.

You can even sit down and stay just where you are. The safest spot of all… at first sight. This is the one with the greatest risk to gain the greatest loss.

So, chose wisely.

Photo by Victor Garcia on Unsplash

“Cruelty”

Snark
has two faces.
One
for criticism
and the other
for telling truth.

Bitterness
has two sides.
One
for seeing the world
as it truly is
and the other
for knowing
that some things
never change.

Pain
has two
pointed edges.
One
for stabbing others
and the other
for stabbing yourself.

You ask why
I’m cruel?
Because
for too long
I have been
selfless
in giving myself away
until all
my kindness
had
left.

Photo by Caleb Shong on Unsplash

“Mama’s Poem”

Oh, hey
did you see
the sunrise outside
today?

Oh, hey
did you notice
the flowers
singing this May?

Oh hey,
did I tell you
I love you
if not, let me say…

Dear Mama,

I’ll put the sun in the sky
for you to see
because even if it’s raining
the cheery star
for you I’ll be.

If you want I’ll grow you
all the flowers
in rainbow colors
so the hummingbirds will come
for hours and hours.

Whatever you need,
today and forever
I’ll be there to help
Our bond stronger
than even the wildest weather.

Oh, hey did I say…?
I love you
Mama,
Happy Mother’s Day!

Photo by James Wheeler on Unsplash

Liebster Award

Hello everyone!

I hope you’re all having an amazing day so far and I have some exciting news to share! I feel incredibly lucky to announce that I was nominated for the Liebster Award by my lovely friend Xandria ❤ We’ve only known each other a few weeks but listen to me when I tell you she is the personification of sunshine. If you haven’t checked out her blog yet, you musssst!!

Rules

  • Thank the blogger who nominated you, and provide a link to their blog.
  • Answer the 11 questions given to you.
  • Share 11 facts about yourself.
  • Nominate 5-11 other bloggers.
  • Ask your nominees 11 questions.
  • Notify your nominees once you have uploaded your post.

Xandria’s Questions for Me!

  1. Favorite song?

Honestly this changes day by day. Right now I keep finding myself listening to Sleepwalking by Lindsey Stirling! The intro of the music video is so thought provoking.

2. What is your life Motto?

I have Nike to thank for my internal mantra… JUST DO IT. I have always loved their slogan and whenever I get nervous or anxious right before I have to do something I definitely don’t want to do, I say it to myself. And then, I just do it. It feels so good afterwards!

3. Most Embarrassing Moment?

When I was around fifteen I was in a music recital. I was so nervous I misplayed this one really hard passage on my violin and I stopped playing. Mid performance.
This is a no-no. When you’re preforming, you never stop playing you go on like it never happened. But I stopped. Then I tried the passage again, and I failed again. So I stopped again. Like, omg me what the heck?
It was the third try that I finally got it and the audience of parents (feeling bad for me) clapped loudly when I finished the piece but I spent the rest of the day in tears. To this day I still cringe when I think about that moment.

4. Favorite Disney/Pixar Movie?

After the doozy that was the last question this one is eaaaaasy. Hands down, Lilo and Stitch.

5. A book you would recommend to anyone?

The Book Thief by Markus Zusak. It was the first book I read that really spoke to me, and I’ve never been the same since I read it at age thirteen.

6. Least favorite food?

Eggs. I hate eggs. So. Much.

7. What is one piece of advice you’d give your teenage self?

It gets better. It really does.

8. What do you miss the most about being in quarantine?

Going out for ice cream at our local spot! The weather’s been so nice lately and I’ve been craving their homemade s’mores ice cream!

9. What is your favorite scene in a movie?

I can recite by heart the scene in My Cousin Vinny when Vinny’s going to go deer hunting and Marisa Tomei, stunned that he’s going to shoot an innocent deer, starts “Imagine you’re a deer…” 😀

And I can do it with the accent.

10. If you had to live in a different country what country would it be?

I would love to live in Italy. I’ve been fortunate enough to visit twice and I just love the culture, landscape and the food so much!! I also have studied Italian and would love to be fluent.

11. What is your favorite thing about yourself? #SelfLove

I love my determination. If there is something I want I don’t wait for it to come to me, I go get it. Just do it.

11 Facts About Me

  1. I play the violin! I started when I was in the 4th grade and have played on and off throughout the years. Now, I actually have time to practice consecutively and I’m loving it!
  2. My favorite color has always been sky blue and will always be sky blue.
  3. I have an adorable dog named Ike who loves my mother and me but will viciously bark at anyone else who gets too close.
  4. I took gymnastics for a year when I was growing up and I adored flipping myself into the foam pit. I rocked that.
  5. When I was ten my dad gave me some blank books and I filled them up with my own Pokemon fan fiction complete with pictures! Oh yeah, I still have those messy drawings of Torchic, Eevee and the Dratini I got wayyy too early in the adventure.
  6. I drink peppermint tea everyday out of my Winnie-the-Pooh mug!
  7. Summer is my favorite season, but I appreciate them all! (But summer is still the best…)
  8. I took horseback riding lessons for ten years growing up, and someday I hope to have my own horse.
  9. There is never a time when I am not reading a book. I tend to read multiple at once in fact.
  10. I need ice cream in my life, at least weekly.
  11. I take a walk outside everyday with Ike ❤

My Nominations

You guys are all so wonderful and friendly! I really enjoy reading your posts through the week. Of course, if you don’t have time or don’t feel up to it there is no pressure to do this! I just wanted to highlight your great blogs!!

My 11 Questions for You

  1. If you had one day left to live, what is the one thing you know you would definitely do?
  2. If you could meet any one famous celebrity and have dinner with them who would you pick?
  3. What is one thing you want to change about yourself?
  4. What is one thing you absolutely love about yourself?
  5. What is one book that changed your life?
  6. Favorite movie of all time?
  7. If you could have any animal (real or fantasy) as a pet what would you pick?
  8. Five television shows to watch for the rest of your life?
  9. What is one embarrassing obsession you had as a kid?
  10. Would you rather live in the city, country or suburbs and why?
  11. Are there any languages that you wish you could speak?

This award was fun and a nice break for me because I have had my head buried in research for my current WIP, but now it looks like it’s time to go back to work! Stay safe out there!!

Till next time,