“Commuter Blues”

Photo by Jeremy Yap on Unsplash

The day starts early,
when the sun
first touches the sky.
While the clouds are still pink
you’re already saying goodbye.

Not for good reason
you think to yourself
as the bus comes late.
There’s traffic lining up
and down the interstate.

Through the streets
and down the alleys
coffee stains your lips.
Gulping it down,
when you should be taking sips.

Work is just
as every day before it.
Then suddenly it’s noon,
and you’re scarfing peanut butter
and bread to a headphone tune.

Going home is easier
knowing that sleep is close.
But you run out the door
and trip on the sidewalk
spilling things to the floor.

Standing for the ride home
is better than waiting at the corner,
even though your heels ache
and the two people near you
find more of your space to take.

In a haze of a pink sunset
the day is almost over.
But while that’s true,
you frown to yourself
because there’s tomorrow too.

Snapshot 2/29/20 // Leaping and Living Each and Every Day

Currently listening:Careless Whisper” – George Michael
Currently watching: Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir S3
Currently playing: The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask
Currently reading: Crooked Kingdom by Leigh Bardugo

February is one of those months I always want to like but every year I get disappointed. It was a hard month. Work was extremely busy and life has been hard at home too. Every spare moment between all of that though I have been tending to my goals. I didn’t get everything done that I wanted, but I did do a lot. Road bumps happen, but you just got to make sure to keep driving until you get to your destination.

(FIGHT ON!)

February Goals:

  1. Research, research, research (Round 2)! Half a check to this one… I did do more research just not as much as I would have liked to. This one will carry on into March. As long as I keep going, I’ll finish. No matter how long it takes.
  2. Finish organizing my room/desk/work space! Check. This was where a majority of my time went and man, was this a lot rougher than I expected! I have a few little things left to sort but the hard work on this is done.
  3. Stick to my planned blog posting schedule! Major check. I did this, and I did this well. I even added an extra post for Valentine’s Day!
(The sweet scent of victory!)

March (the month where spring finally arrives!) Goals:

  1. Research, research, research (Round 3)! Slow and steady wins the race. This is the third time I’m posting this goal but every month I get a little more done. Hopefully March will be kinder than February was. (I just want to write the story already! maybe I’ll do a bit of both… hehe!)
  2. Stick to my planned blog posting schedule! I’m determined to make this a habit and the only way to do that is to treat it as such. So I’m keeping this one here so I keep holding myself accountable and get the work done.
  3. Become more interactive on Twitter! I barely use my account but I want to be more active on it! Twitter has a huge writing community and I want to contribute. If any of you have a Twitter account, we should follow each other! My handle is @jaiiiilynn4
(Deadpool clearly approves)

What I Read:

Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo. This is my second reread of this book, and I loved it as much as the first time I read it (I just had more knowledge of what twists and turns were coming to better prepare myself lol). This is a great book, and I know so many of y’all out there agree. The characters are all so diverse and fantastic and real. I love Leigh Bardugo’s writing, just the right amount of description, action and feeling. I hope one day to write as well as her. ❤ If any of you have not checked out any of her works yet, I highly recommend. She is a Queen for a reason.
The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing by Marie Kondo. This was a divine little read, I really enjoyed it! Since the theme of February was cleaning up my work spaces, this book was very appropriate and informational. I learned a lot. For example, the cleaner your space the better you feel and the less distracted you are. So simple and yet so easily overlooked! It makes sense. If you have less things out grabbing for your attention then your mind in turn will become more clear too! Her voice throughout the book is cute as well, and I felt really relaxed as I learned about tidying which usually causes me stress haha! I also loved the idea of saying thank you to your possessions. You should treat them with respect and I feel like a lot of people overlook this, like when you get home and just unceremoniously dump your stuff down without another thought. You should on an everyday basis take care of the things you own and remember that they are there to make your life easier and in turn look out for you too. It was such a fresh and positive way of looking at things, and of course “sparking joy”. I highly recommend this book to anyone trying to make a change in their life.
Crooked Kingdom by Leigh Bardugo. Currently reading this and currently loving every damn second of it. I don’t want it to end, so I’m taking this one slow. You can only read a book for the first time once right? Expect all my thoughts next month on this beauty of a book.

What I’ll Be Writing:

  • Poetry- posted every Wednesday
  • Living Life vignettes- posted every other Friday
  • Alternate Reality flash fiction collection- posted the last Tuesday of the month
  • Snapshot! monthly recap- posted the last day of every month
  • Announcements- posted as needed

All of my writings are independent of each other and stand alone so no need to read any of the previous work to understand. If you want more information about any of the above, you can check out the About page on my site or just click here, lol.

Here’s another gif of Deadpool (because why not?)…. and an accurate representation of my writing in art form, lol. Basically. I love a good fight scene.

February Round Up of Brilliant Posts I Read By Other Bloggers:

My Round Up of February Posts:

If you have read this far then you must have noticed all the Deadpool gifs *wink, wink*. I love him so much and have no regrets. Deadpool is the only thing I’ll watch on Valentine’s Day. Honestly, to me, it is one of the most romantic movies of all time. That aside, let’s go out and enjoy this extra day we get this month! Happy Leap Year!

How were your February’s? Did you meet your goals? What are you looking forward to in March?

Till next time,

Flash Fiction – “The Devil”

“You have met with a horrible destiny, haven’t you?”

The devil in the mask held the dagger out, the handle towards me and blood from the blade pooling in its fist. Still as stone, its unmoving eyes bore into mine.

I tried to keep trained on the blade but couldn’t help but let my stare wander back to its face. Not like it had changed the whole time. The same macabre expression of a grin slitted with pointed teeth and a forked tongue hooked out of the right corner of its mouth were still all I could see. Some part of me was trying to see a crack to the monster underneath but masks existed for a reason.

“Horrible destiny….” I laughed, but brokenly. “I think I’ve heard that somewhere before.”

It drummed its claws along the steel, a little ting sounding every time a nail made contact. Then one scratched down a little too far and I flinched, a little too noticeably. So… the devil did it again. And again.

Just to break the cycle I took a step closer, and it mirrored me. When I took one to the left, it took one to its right. Step by step bringing us closer and closer together. Only when I took one back did it not move in turn. It stayed still, that smirk forever painted on its mouth.

It wanted me close. But couldn’t it see that this game was irrelevant? With my posture hunched, and my breathing hitched there was no way it didn’t see how exhausted I was. I didn’t even have my sword anymore. Then there was that dagger… just out for me to take.

If I wanted to survive I needed it. But, the one offering it was someone who wanted to drag me down at the end of all this…. something that would never want to hoist me up.

“All heroes have heard that before.” It bounced the blade in its hand, and the moonlight above glinted off the red steel.

I bit my lip. “I’m not a hero.” Then, I reached out and took the dagger. The devil didn’t let go though as my grip tightened.

It chuckled, low and grating. The sound like nails on a blade. Then it put its free hand to the edge of its mask and tipped it off.

“No, you’re not a hero….” the monster whispered, my own face reflected back at me like a mirror where its own should have been. The expression was familiar but crooked, and hungrily grinning at me underneath the shadow of the mask. “are you?”

I would have taken those pointed teeth and forked tongue for anything now… but they weren’t visible any longer since now I was the one wearing the mask.

Photo by Alex Iby on Unsplash

Living Life #23 “Smile”

I have only seen her frown once.

Granted, I have never seen her outside of work but when you work as many hours as I do with the same people day after day… you tend to notice things.

In the early morning, when the sky is still painted night and the air chilled with dew, whoever she greets on her way in she’ll flash a smile. It doesn’t matter if her eyelids are still a little droopy with sleep, or her sweet voice a little heavier as if coated in honey. No matter what, you’ll still see that smile.

At our weekly meeting we learn about new procedures, rules, or programs we need to know how to run. If she doesn’t understand she’ll raise her hand and ask her questions, always with a coy quirk in her lip. As if in apology for speaking, when in reality she is voicing the question in all our minds.

Casual meetings in the hallway with everyone’s coming and goings, when if you’re lucky enough to meet her eyes, there that grin will be. It doesn’t matter that she already flashed it at you an hour ago when you walked in together.

Disgruntled customers are frequent and normal. I once watched a man spit at her, saliva getting stuck to her blouse and she didn’t even balk. That smile came to her defense and it calmed him, and the rest of us, down from coming to her aid.

When Tracy accidentally dropped a cup of coffee and it splashed onto her shirt.

When her computer broke and she had to stay late to finish her assignment.

When it started to pour just as she was about to leave the other day.

Everywhere she goes, she smiles. I don’t understand. Or at least I didn’t, until the day I saw that frown.

I was coming around the corner when I spotted her at the window. It was the only time I ever saw her eyes look so far away. Her arms were crossed tightly across her chest, and her hands were clenched around her elbows. I realized in that moment that she thought she was alone. I would have left it that way too… if not for the frown marring her face.

For someone who had always seemed so happy, and brought joy to everyone else… I wondered at the depth of sadness she must have kept bottled up inside. There was a lifetime of disappointment and worry in that upside down turn of her mouth.

I didn’t mean to stare… but that’s how she caught me. Her expression careened from sadness to surprise to a calm expression with her lips set into a straight line. I didn’t even know what to say, I was caught just as off guard as she was.

Are you okay? came to the tip of my tongue but my words weren’t working. She inclined her head at me then and passed by. That was the only time she didn’t smile, at least to me.

I wonder, sometimes, if she is as aware as I am of the powerful effect a smile, or lack there one, can have… because after I didn’t see one the rest of my day was wrecked.

Photo by Timothy Dykes on Unsplash

“Question”

Sometimes,
she’ll ask
me
a question.

Then in return,
I’ll give
her
an answer.

Bundled
in a sweater
with purpose
puncturing her words,
I hear her smart
yet sassy
inquisition.

(She never lets me down.)

It’s those moments,
where my heart
beats a little
too
fast.
But still…
I try to keep
my distance
(and curiosity)
at bay
for what her next
question will be.

She brings up
the clouds,
the mist
the breeze
trying to get in
through my window.

And I want
to open the window
and feel the sun on my face
because it is just like
her smile.
(But instead
I bury my head,
back to the calls
flashing on my phone.)

Every time
I see
her
there’s so much
to do
I want her to leave
(and need her
to stay
to make this
dull gray light
stark sunshine bright.)

Sometimes
she’ll ask
me
a question

(Too close to the truth.)

And I
won’t answer
her
at all.

(And we both
know why.)

Photo by freestocks.org on Unsplash

“Valentine’s Day”

Chocolate hearts,
sweet tarts,
honey dripping
off your lips.

Written out paper card,
walking down the boulevard
not knowing where
but happy all the same.

Red rose,
bantering prose
nothing can ever
compare to this.

Cuddly teddy bear,
my mind without care
as long as you
are next to me.

Love of my life,
your future wife
doesn’t need
all these things.

Only you
and me too
together
forevermore.

Happy Valentine’s Day, my dear

Photo by Alejandra Quiroz on Unsplash

“Answer”

Sometimes,
I’ll ask
you
a question.

Then in return,
you’ll give
me
an answer.

Fastened
in a business suit
with logic
licking your lips,
I hear your polite
professional
response.

(Good for you.)

And I notice,
disappointment
and relief
tying my hands
behind my back.
But still…
I’m curious
(and struck)
so I change
my tactics.

I bring up the sun,
the air,
the rain brushing
the windows
near your desk.

And you say,
“It’s been so
so busy.
There hasn’t
been time.”

You are either
so absorbed
in your papers
or so disinterested
in everything else
except
your phone.

Trying to get
you
to look
at me
is my favorite
game.

Because,
there have been
certain times,
when I know
I’ve gotten through
to you.

Sometimes
I’ll ask
you
a question.

And
you
won’t answer
me
at all.

(And we both know,
you heard me.)

Photo by Tim Marshall on Unsplash

I Should Have Read That Book Tag

Good golly gosh… where to begin? Reading is one of the loves of my life, so much so that I take my time to savor the storytelling of each book that I read. It’s because of this habit though that it does take me a bit of time to get through one book, and with a never ending TBR pile well… you can imagine how long my list is of books I still have to read! (AND I AM DETERMINED TO GET TO EVERY. SINGLE. ONE.)

Thanks to the lovely Sophie @ Sophie’s Corner for thinking of me for this tag! Now without further ado lets jump in! 😀

The Rules:

  • Thank the person who tagged you and link back to their post.
  • Link to the creator’s blog in your post
  • Answer the questions below
  • Tag 10 others to take part in the tag
  • Enjoy the tag!

A book that a certain friend is always telling you to read

I own this book. It’s on the bookshelf right in front of my bed so I see it every morning when I wake up. I have also heard so many good things about this series and when I went to Book Con last year I even won an adorable scythe pin. Those are the top reasons, among many others, of why I got to get my butt in gear and finally read this one!

A book that has been on your TBR forever and yet you still haven’t read it

I know. The Night Circus is one of my favorite books of all time, so I don’t know why it’s taking me so long to get to The Starless Sea. Probably, it’s because I want to wait till I have more time to truly enjoy this book to the fullest. You can only read a book for the first time once, right?

A book in a series you’ve started, but haven’t gotten around to finishing

I JUST FINISHED MY SECOND REREAD OF THIS. I AM GOING TO FINISH THE DUOLOGY. FINALLY. MY BELOVED CROOKED KINGDOM THE TIME HAS FINALLY COME!

A classic you have always liked the sound of, but have never actually read

This is a book I’ve been meaning to read for years. I think if I remember right I even picked it up and started to read it a few years ago but for some reason or another put it back on the shelf because the timing wasn’t right. Hopefully this year it will be!

A popular book that it seems everyone but you has read

I’m embarrassing myself so bad with this tag. I know. I haven’t read this one either yet. I WANT TO! It’s another that has been staring me down from my bookshelf. I have heard numerous beautiful, heartbreaking things about this book and it is about time I read it!

A book that inspired a film/TV adaptation that you really love, but just haven’t picked up yet

I started reading this series years and years ago when I was like twelve. My twelve year old self just got distracted midway through and hasn’t been back since. I’m determined to read this series all the way eventually! {Then tackle Lord of the Rings, but that’s another story 😉 }

A book you see all over Instagram but haven’t picked up yet

I’ve heard this one is a combo of The Infernal Devices and Howl’s Moving Castle which are tops in my Favorite Books of All Time list. I see you Sorcery of Thorns and I AM COMING FOR YOU. (EVENTUALLY.)

Tags

I tag anyone who wants to participate!

Have any of you read the books I mentioned above? Probably, right? Haha! What books are highlights on your TBR piles?

Till next time,

Living Life #22 “Mirror”

The shards were scattered all over the floor.

Each edge was jagged, and unlike any of the others. Of course they would all be different. They all came from different experiences.

The shard closest was derived from the boy who pushed her into the sandbox when she was five, just because she had been born a girl and for no other reason more.

The one to the right was one of the bigger ones. It was from when she was seven and her father had left. She thought it had been her fault. It was not her fault.

All the way to the left was a tiny chip, nearly in the shape of a heart. Nearly. It was from the eighth grade when the boy she liked had tried to set her up with his best friend.

Then all the way in the back, that piece with the most uneven sides… the piece with the sharpest angles…. that was the one from her first job out of school when her boss had tried to sand her down. That boss hadn’t liked the bumps on her skin, the angle of her eyes, or the color of her hair. That boss had balked at the smile she wore to work every day no matter how many backhanded compliments and disguised insults were said to her face. That was the girl’s favorite piece. That was the piece that cut deepest from her skin and made her never look back or question who she was ever again.

All of these shards on the floor were an important piece of her soul. So the image left standing in the mirror, after it was fixed once again, was a smarter and stronger girl.

Photo by Luis Villasmil on Unsplash