When this all first started, they said there would be no waiting.
Cracking my knuckles only kills a few seconds so it’s not long before my mind is back on the never ending line in front of me. At least we are all spread far enough apart that I could stretch my arms so far in front of me and still not touch the man with his bowler hat, or kick out my leg enough to never reach the woman and her daughter arguing at my back.
They said it wouldn’t be as bad as this.
Someone coughs and I can’t help it… but I flinch. I’m not the only one either. Between my rumbling stomach, scrunched shoulders, and painful headache I feel like I made a mistake coming. Maybe I could have gone another night without dinner.
They said that by now this would all be over.
In better times, I would have been knee deep in tips from slinging hot burgers and greasy fries. I would have been spending my mornings running on the beach and my nights banging shoulders with my friends. My anxiety wouldn’t be strung as tight as bow, my bills wouldn’t be weighing down my shoulders, and the news wouldn’t be hammering me hour by hour with the bleakness of it all. (Why didn’t we listen? Why didn’t we realize sooner? Are we all that selfish? Throwing a party at what cost? A few thousand lives…) I shift my weight to my other leg, not because I needed to but just because I needed something, anything, to distract me. If only for another few seconds.
This summer was supposed to be the best one yet. Who would have thought it would have been the saddest? The one to ruin every other summer… in our new reality.
Everything happens for a reason. I’ll tell it to myself over and over. Until I believe it. Another distraction to make the time seem less still. Another few seconds to pass by.
Currently listening: “Wonderwall” – Oasis Currently watching: Dr. Pimple Popper S2 Currently playing: Animal Crossing: New Horizons Currently reading:Neon Genesis Evangelion Vol. 1 by Yoshiyuki Sadamoto
I’m just going to come right out and say it. March was a hell of a month. I think we can all agree with that on a global level. This virus has knocked the Earth right off its feet and right now what is most important is to STAY. HOME. Please. You are not invincible, no matter how much you think you won’t get sick. A person can still carry the virus without showing any symptoms and transmit it to someone who could be extremely vulnerable. Wash your hands, keep social distance, and thank and pray for all the workers out there (doctors, nurses, grocery store workers, law enforcement, ect.) that are working to keep us alive and safe.
Research, research, research (Round 3)! I’m checking this goal, even though I am not entirely finished with it. I have been doing a bit of this, diligently, every day. Moving forward I’m going to add some pre-writing into this routine, so I’m not just bogged down with science, history and logistics. (Which I love, don’t get me wrong, but in small doses.) Gotta get some magic in that mix!
Stick to my planned blogging schedule! Major check, as you can see! 😀 With an extra post for St. Patrick’s Day! It’s one of my favorite holidays where my family and I drink whisky, make colcannon and eat an unhealthy amount of Irish soda bread. I love St. Patrick’s Day, if you can’t tell ❤ Especially in times of crisis you have to remember what makes you happy, and stay positive!
Become more interactive on Twitter! Half a check, I’ve been reading and checking Twitter much longer and more often this month… so I’m heading in the right direction.
April (the month with the rain and flowers which I need both of right now) Goals:
Continue researching, world building, prewriting, plotting, and outlining my WIP! I’ve changed my mind about a few things considering my WIP and have decided to go back to an original story idea I had my senior year of college. At that time, I was not ready for that story… but after it being ALWAYS in the back of my mind, even so many years later, I think I’m ready to go at it. The other WIP I was originally working on since January needs to simmer a bit. This one I’m currently tackling is setting my mind on fire. That’s how I know it’s. so. ready. I’m not giving myself a time limit on completing this goal so you’ll probably see it all year, spoiler alert lol. I’m just going to keep doing it little by little and at my own pace. One day it will be drafted. I’m determined.
Keep my desk clean! I have some piles on and around my desk I need to go through. Little by little I am going to work on getting rid of them.
Stick with my blog posting schedule promise! I’ve done great so far, just holding myself accountable each month helps to make this goal a habit. So far, I’m rocking it 😀
Become more interactive on Twitter! I’m slowly stepping into this goal since I have been checking Twitter more often. I’m going to attempt to do some tweeting this month. I know there is huge writing community on Twitter that I want to be a part of but some part of me might be nervous and may be procrastinating it a little lol (especially with all that’s going on in the world now). If you have an account though I would love to connect! My handle is @jaiiiilynn4
Make submissions again with my writing! I have to do some looking into this. I did two submissions last year, and one got published! This year I would like to beat my record by trying to submit three pieces of writing to some online publications, and *fingers crossed* hopefully get at least one piece published again.
Change my profile pic! I want to update it to something different and fresh 😀
Be less stressed out! Lol, omg this one is easier said than done. I just want to be more relaxed at home, and at work with my family, friends and co-workers.
Practice the piano and my violin again! I miss music and haven’t played much because I’ve been busy. Music means a lot to me though and I’m not going to give it up because it makes me so happy ❤
What I Read:
–Crooked Kingdom by Leigh Bardugo. Yes. Just yes. I LOVED EVERY SECOND OF IT.Everyone ended up where they needed to be. Unfortunately I got spoiled before hand with one of the character deaths so I don’t know how I would have reacted if I hadn’t known but as I was reading the story it made total sense. Spoiler alert! Kaz and Inej holding hands omg, that was one of the most heartwarming beautiful parts of the book. I loved it so much. Perfect and then he gets her the ship and she gets to see her parents!! My heart is full. Jesper and Wylan are in a good place. ❤️ Nina, beautiful wonderful Nina my heart breaks for her. Mathias’s death, though terrible, makes sense to me. His story came full circle. Their story was beautiful to me and now that I have seen it to the end I can’t imagine it any other way. Pekka’s ending too I found was very appropriate. Just as harsh, maybe more so than killing him and I really respect how Kaz (Leigh) handled it. Death would be too easy and I feel like a lot of writers rely on that as the end to villains but this was brilliant. Brick by brick Kaz tore him down till he was but a shell of his former self and that in a much less violent way is a sort of death itself, but worse, much worse because Pekka is still alive. If I haven’t said it already brilliantly handled. Five stars ⭐️, very satisfying conclusion to the duology. Spoilers over.If you haven’t read any of Leigh Bardugo’s work I highly recommend her if you are into fantasy and fabulous writing. I hope one day to write books half as good as hers. – The Language of Thorns: Midnight Tales and Dangerous Magic by Leigh Bardugo. This was a beautiful rendition of fairytale retellings to expand the world of the Grishaverse, and I think I like Bardugo’s retellings more than some of the original stories she drew her inspiration from. These stories are not going to end in the ways you think they are, and wholly depart from what you know about basic fairytales. The prince isn’t always the hero, your family isn’t always on your side, and the girls in these tales don’t need anyone because they are going to save themselves. My favorite was The Soldier Prince overall because it drew inspiration from The Nutcracker, and that is one of my favorite fairytales of all time but each of the stories is beautiful. All of them are well written, make you think, and teach you a lesson that you didn’t expect to be coming.Not to mention, the illustrations all throughout are unreal. So gorgeous. 100% will be rereading this collection in the future. –Looking For Alaska by John Green. I liked this book. That being said, I don’t think I will ever read it again. Not that that is a bad thing! I learned a lot from the story and I think it definitely changed how I view the world, and death.(SPOILER) The main premise of the book is about having guilt and living with that, having questions (that will never be answered), and most importantly having hope, even in the face of death. That there is something after, whether or not an afterlife exists if that makes sense (SPOILER END). I’m not articulating this well I think but that is all the more reason for you all to read the book haha! I don’t know. I’m writing this paragraph after just having finished it. I saw the ending coming but I felt that the ending was inevitable, and so I feel like the story went full circle, and I’m happy with that. I don’t know if I have ever felt this way before about a book. If I could impart one thing to y’all just cherish being alive and being present. Look out for one another and don’t focus wholly on yourself. That being said don’t become so selfless that you forget to take care of yourself too, of course. Find the balance. All in all though I liked this book, got what I needed and now I don’t ever want to read it again.
What I’ll Be Writing:
Poetry- posted every Wednesday
Living Life vignettes- posted every other Friday
Alternate Reality flash fiction collection- posted the last Tuesday of the month
Snapshot! monthly recap- posted the last day of every month
Announcements- posted as needed
All of my writings are independent of each other andstand alone so no need toreadanyof the previous work to understand. If you want more information about any of the above, you can check out the About page on my site or just click here.
Sending love and healthy vibes out there for you all ❤ Stay strong, this too shall pass and please stay home. That’s my public service announcement for the day. Ahem, now if you’ll excuse me I believe I do hear Animal Crossing calling my name… (I’M COMING RUDY!)
What are some things you guys are doing to pass the time? Anything interesting? Let me know in the comments below!