“my death”

the dirt under my nails
tells no lies.

the tears have dried
in the corner of my eyes.

my heart beats
with love for all its ties.

i will not
go easy
from this world.

i will fight
blood
and bone
to live

and even after
the last breath
leaves my lips…

i will still live on
through all the survivors,
especially those
i have not
even realized
my light
has touched.

with each
end
always
come a new
beginning.

Photo by Eyasu Etsub on Unsplash

To each and every one of you I’m sending all the love and light your way for 2021. I’ll see you on the other side 😉 Let’s make it count.

©2021 Jai Lynn

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“the bell poem”

red ribbon
an evergreen spruce
and multicolor blinks
of lights
in the dark.

a quiet
isolated
white snow
expanse
outside the window.

hot chocolate
sugar cookies
and carrots
by the fireplace
on the other side.

simple…
for this
Christmas
is not the same

but
i still
believe
that when
the silver bells
ring
in the night
i will
hear.

a lot
is different
this year
but the
holiday spirit
will always
be in our hearts
for next year
and every year
that is
yet
to come.

we
will all
be together
again soon.

Photo by Stéphane Juban on Unsplash

Merry Christmas everyone! Keep the hope ❤

©2021 Jai Lynn

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“Rebuild”

Ruins
are memories
broken
into little
tiny
pieces.

Small
fragments
with sharp
serrated
edges.

You have
to be prepared
when you
connect
them back
together.

Or
you
will just
get cut
all over
again.

And so,
I learned
to cast
my hands
in steel.

Now
I am
finally
ready
to make
my new
castle.

I am
sad
no more
for The Queen
has
arrived.

Photo by Alex Mihai C on Unsplash

©2021 Jai Lynn

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Vignette #36 “This Christmas”

Christmas won’t be the same this year.

The thought is visible in the smaller tree in her living room. There was a time when the pine tree had stood ten feet high adorned with garland and popcorn trimmed all around its edges. Ornaments of all sizes and shapes would be strung out around its branches. The lights would change from pure white to multicolored and back in blinks of time. Now her tree is only 5 feet. There is no garland. There are no lights. Just one single ornament she found lying in an old drawer, by chance, to put on.

There are no presents under the tree. In random and rushed trips to the post office everything had been mailed weeks ago. She still isn’t sure if some of the presents reached their recipients. She hopes they did. The only thing left under the tree now is a snow white cat, sleeping soundly.

There is no music playing this Christmas Eve. The house is quiet, so quiet that even a mouse stirring would jar her enough to make her jump. There is nothing baking in the oven. Only take out containers in the kitchen garbage.

She nurses her second cup of egg nog. It’s really more rum than cream but there is no one around to argue with her. No uncles telling her jokes. No aunts wrapping her in warm hugs. No cousins to jump around and make fools of themselves with. No brother to even tease and laugh with like every other year past.

Christmas won’t be the same this year. She takes another sip of her drink.

But there is still hope, she tells herself as she looks at the empty fireplace. A year from now she will buy a fifteen foot tree, even if it doesn’t fit in her house, and she’ll throw every string of light she owns around its edges. Not an inch of pine will be left uncovered as she’ll drag the ornaments down from the attic by herself if she has to. All year she’ll save up and use wily ways to figure out what everyone on her list wants as a gift. That fifteen foot tree will be too small to hold everything she’ll find. The music will be as loud and roaring as the fireplace, and the whole house will smell of hints of garlic, drops of lemon and eventually sugar cookies.

She puts down her drink.

Good things are worth waiting for. Next year, she knows, will be the most magical Christmas yet.

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

©2021 Jai Lynn

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“Grateful”

I am
enough.

All my
gifts
you’ve given
have made
me
the happiest
person around.

I am
enough.

There is
no more
I need
to feel
wanting.

I am
enough.

You
made it so
my other half
was always
myself.

Thank you.

Even when
there is
no one
else around
and I am
alone
my life
is still
full.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you

Photo by Jakob Owens on Unsplash

©2021 Jai Lynn

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“The Devil On My Shoulder”

I know
who I
am.

(thoughts
of you
always
in my head…)

I know
exactly
how to
destroy
myself.

(i see us
on repeat
as i dream
through the day…)

You
did not do
anything
wrong.

I
will take
total
fault.

(for the
feelings
are mine
alone…)

I
am
destroyed.

I
am
also
my destroyer.

(….)

I promise
I’ll disappear
and you will
never
see me again.

(i may be the devil
but i am the angel too.)

I
will save
you
from me.

(goodbye, my love)

Photo by Stefano Ciociola on Unsplash

©2021 Jai Lynn

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“Imagination”

It happens
when we look
each other
in the eyes.

I see stars,
a cup
with two straws,
a pair of rings
perfectly matched.

It happens
when our hands
draw
together.

I feel the heat
from your skin
and shiver
from the cold
in mine.

It happens
when we are
so close
but not quite
chest to chest.

You lean down
while I
rise up
on the balls
of my feet.
We are not
even
touching.

But it feels
like we are.

My head
is a beautiful
home for us.

But …
be honest,
please,
what
do
you
see?

Photo by Anthony Tran on Unsplash

©2021 Jai Lynn

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