Writing is Hard | WIP Update | May 2023 | Break

June 2, 2023 ~ Jai Lynn ~ Leave a comment

Previous Post: Writing is Hard | WIP Update | April 2023 | (check-in)

I went on a trip this past month, and it reminded me why I love being alive in the first place. It was short, just three days, and even though I wanted to stay away forever it was just enough of what I needed to put life (and my anxiety) in perspective again.

Life is short, don’t forget to enjoy it.

I did not work on The Lowell Saga again this month.That’s okay. Instead I wrote over 3,000 words on another story. A story I always meant to write but have decided now is the time. It’s called “TRiCKED” and it has given me a space to get all these rumbling thoughts out of my head and into the universe.

The main character is named Alice.

Until we meet again,

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(Currently still revising the first draft of TLS…../Outlining a old & new story)

Writing is Hard | WIP Update | April 2023 | (check-in)

April 30, 2023April 27, 2023 ~ Jai Lynn ~ 1 Comment

Previous Post: Writing is Hard | WIP Update | March 2023 | Imperfect

Just a brief check in post. Short and sweet. April has been a bit better month than March. I am doing okay and for my readers out there who are still here, thank you for hanging on with me. I hope I can give you all a better post for May.

I did not work on The Lowell Saga this month. I started brainstorming on an old story instead. My head needed something simpler to wrap around and that’s okay. We will see where it goes 🙂

Until we meet again,

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(Currently still revising the first draft of TLS…../Outlining a old & new story)

Writing is Hard | WIP Update | March 2023 | Imperfect

April 2, 2023 ~ Jai Lynn ~ 3 Comments

Previous Post: Writing is Hard | WIP Update | February 2023 | Cool

This post is late. Usually I am very on top of my updates, and to be honest, I almost didn’t come back to my computer to write this post. I thought why even try, you missed the opportunity. It’s already well into April (it’s the second as I am writing this paragraph if I am being real) but my brain had already resigned itself to the fact that I failed. I missed the opportunity to get my post in for the month. I am a terrible human being.

That is only a snippet of what perfectionism feels like.

If it’s not done properly why even do it at all. I am a failure.

For many years I have struggled with this mentality. It’s crippling, especially as of this March, where I barely had the energy to do much of anything. I thought at first it’s okay I just need to rest. It’s okay I’ll just do the bare minimum and the rest will come back later. This month is already written off as a joke, we will do better next time. That was midway through March.

But I didn’t do better. I fell again and then again. I spiraled to the point all I could do was stuff my face with whatever was in reach and then pace my house in anxiety of what I had gotten done and hadn’t gotten done that day. I hated myself, I lived in fear day after day of what new anxiety would come to punch me in the face. I lost time to useless thoughts that would chase me down again and again in the racetrack of my mind. Anxiety is a race that I can never win. Never. The thoughts always catch me. The race never ends. The only way to get out is to not get on the track at all.

The fact that you are reading this is a testament to me trying to change. I’m fighting back against the rough mental health month I have had. I am trying to be nice to myself. I’m trying to remember that bad times are just that, bad times and they are temporary. I am trying to be grateful for all the wonderful things in my life I do have. And I have many and many a blessing.

No, my life is not perfect. And that’s okay, that’s okay. I’m trying to rise above my anxiety and get better. In a healthy way. I am trying to pick myself up. That’s why this rambling post exists.

It’s not perfect. That’s okay. This is me trying again.

And that is what matters when for the past few weeks all I wanted to do was give up.

I did do a bit of writing at the beginning of this month and that is not for naught. I am still editing. I am still trying. I just need to stop getting in the way of myself and that is the personal journey I am on right now.

Nothing is perfect.

Until we meet again,

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(Currently still revising the first draft of TLS…..)

Writing is Hard | WIP Update | February 2023 | Cool

February 28, 2023February 19, 2023 ~ Jai Lynn ~ 3 Comments

Previous Post: Writing is Hard | WIP Update | January 2023 | Constant

I do not know how many of these little updates I have written since the inception of my blog but I know that whenever I do sit down to write a post I tend to get lost in it. The writing takes over for itself and just goes off in whatever vibe I am currently riding in in the moment. I never have any idea of what I am going to write when I sit down to write one of these until that flow begins. Today I am writing in a different place than I normally do and though it feels a little strange it feels very relaxing, and productive too. Do those adjectives even go together lol? I don’t know they usually don’t in my life as of late but in all honesty both are very true feelings right now.

February was a month of emotions but ultimately good even though I definitely did not always feel good this month. But I did feel growth. That’s the thing about life. We are constantly changing, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worst. This month had some very high emotions that I am working through but at the end of it all I believe I will be a stronger person than I ever was.

Writing wise though I have made some progress! I work very slowly but I work very surely.

Haha not the happiest gif but accurate for my past month lol. It’s all good. It’s the journey!

I left off talking about my writing journey a long line of posts back. Maybe even years back…. like the summer of 2021-ish if I skimmed through my past posts accurately and didn’t miss anything haha. Well, let me pick back up on that then. Last I had spoken it was of high school and the “Wow!” I had gotten on the top of little poem I had scribbled out between classes sophmore year. A “Wow!” that had been from one of the most difficult graders at our school. A “Wow!” that had been my first exposure to the idea of having my work published.(I’ll attach the link here if anyone wants to read it again. #shamelessselfpromotion) A “Wow!” that I totally dismissed and didn’t even think possible at the time. Me? Be a writer? Me? Publish my work? What? I thought there was no way I would succeed at that. Maybe later in life but certainly not now.

Writing for me back then was all fanfiction. (And the schoolwork I had to do.) It was a release. It was my innermost thoughts and feelings. It was something I did because it just made me happy. I loved writing back then so much. I still do, just not in the same way. But I am trying to find my way back to that girl I used to be. It’s funny looking back at when I was sixteen that little did I know how how much struggle I would eventually fall into for that little dream of being a writer. Struggle, struggle, struggle..… I am 27 now and looking back now, like wow. Life is strange. Life is strange.

My first year of college was when the next major life event happened. I was in a Sherlock Holmes seminar class, and the final project was to write a story about yourself meeting Sherlock Holmes. I wrote the story, and I had a lot of fun with it. Maybe I’ll post it here one day. But, it was my professor that made all the difference. After class when I read it aloud, she pulled me aside, and she asked me “Have you ever considered taking a creative writing course?”

I was flattered, I got an A+ on the paper, and I did not know what to do. Some part of me at 27 still doesn’t…

But again I was hit with the thought. Could I be a writer…..?

I am very thankful for the teachers I have mentioned thus far. Their words were minor things but they affected my whole life. So maybe they weren’t so minor after all.

In regards to The Lowell Saga, I am plugging along. I thought today I would share a bit about my main character just so you can get the gist of the kind of person she is….. 😉

Lowell Ryan is intelligent, at least in the things that she finds worthwhile. She is obsessive, but only in regards to forgotten long lost gods. She is confident, in the only way a struggling girl could be when everything she loves is on the line. Lowell Ryan is the manifestation of a hero without actually being one. Yet.

But she also is essentially the coolest person alive that I always wanted to be but never really thought I could.

I should stop thinking that way.

Until we meet again,

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(Currently still revising the first draft of TLS…..)

Writing is Hard | WIP Update | January 2023 | Constant

January 31, 2023January 29, 2023 ~ Jai Lynn ~ 5 Comments

Previous Post: Writing is Hard | WIP Update | December 2022 | Happy Holidays!

January for me has always been a month of constants. A constant start to a new me, a constant doll-drum of the winter blues, a constant threshold of health and side hustles and passion endeavors. This January was different. For once I felt like I didn’t need a fresh start. 2022 had been the year to push me to change. 2023 is the year where I am starting to see the results of everything that has changed in my life. All because of me. This January feels no different in feeling constant. It is just a different meaning of constant continuation to build on the strong foundation I already have.

Taking my dog out for sunrise walks, drinking green tea out of my Kirby mug at midday, running like I know no bounds in the evenings after work and daydreaming a universe of stories I want to write in all the time in between. All small changes I have made just leading me closer to the life I want to have. January is a fresh start for many but it is not the only time to start. Change can start whenever you choose it to.

This month I met up with a very old friend who I haven’t seen in years and can’t wait to see again. My boyfriend took me to see Hadestown on Broadway and adored it. I ate waffles for dinner for the first time in my life and 10/10 would do it again. I just started my first play-through of The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time and I am savoring every puzzle I get to figure out. I am spending so much time with my loved ones, learning so much at my new job, following my passions, reading anything and everything and just very happy with how far I have come. Happiness is not a destination, it is the journey itself. It took me a long time to learn that lesson but I am here. Life isn’t perfect, it’s messy and hard. Life is also very wonderful and very worth it. I know what I want out of life and, even if I still have a ways to go and a lot of work ahead of me, I am happy.

That is everything. 🙂

I have found my obsessions.

The itch to write/edit has finally hit me. Now we have traction again on the revisions for The Lowell Saga Book 1. Title most certainly going to change, LOL. Once I find the right one haha 😉 I have made progress working through chapters that have already been written and have created a few new scenes which overall I feel are tying the story together more tightly. Which is a thing that is very close to my heart. I CRAVE/OBSESS on my works having resonance which is such an important part of writing and it might be my favorite part of writing overall. Though I do adore creating new characters a lot too. Progress is still slow but its moving, damn its moving and its time.

(Also I have been obsessing all day over a new story idea for the other series I want to write after TLS and I just feel all tingly, it’s great.)

I have also found a healthy obsession with running, that has really solidified this month. I have been consistently going to the gym 3-4 times a week after work and on weekends. I am going, I am doing it and I want to do it. Like, wow wow wow. Even after a long day I still want to run. When I run I feel like I can pound all my stress out through my heels and leave it behind. I also have a new obsession with spinach and hummus pitas and it is life changing. It is my go to lunch and leaves me feeling satisfied and healthy. And then a Milano cookie when I need it because you always need a treat, right? 😉 ahahahaha. My relationship with food has also changed a lot from a year ago and I am just astounded with where I am.

Reading is another obsession that I have always had but just never realized how involved I was in it. I read, like damn, I read. Consistently everyday. I average on 25 books a year, so that is NOWHERE near plenty of others but its so damn perfect for me. And I don’t know it just makes me really happy so I wanted to include it haha

BUT THE LATEST OBSESSION which is a feeling that has escaped me for years and I am SO GLAD is back is drowning myself in a video game. For so long, I was worrying and not taking enough self care time and just constantly overthinking things I didn’t need to obsess over. But now I am putting that worry time to SELF CARE time and just enjoying myself. I recently beat Pokemon Violet and loved it. Then, my boyfriend and I started a play through of TLoZ: Ocarina of Time and guys it is amazing. I love this game so so so so MUCHHHHHHHHHHH. I just beat the Fire Temple. Next is the Water Temple and I hear its a doozy. Wish me luck!

And all of this is just making me more and more inspired to write!! That was why I included all those obsessions in the writing half of my update. They are important to the plot of my life and writing journey LOL. My creative well is being filled and it is amazing. The Lowell Saga cast is so diverse and so messy and so heart wrenching. The story itself is an adventure on the outside with deeper philosophical guts as to the meaning of life itself. Reading books, playing video games, giving myself the freedom to run and live is reminding me of when I was a kid and writing was as easy as breathing. Maybe what I needed all along was just to give myself room to breathe that way the words could make their way through the walls I had put up. Only time will tell but I am having a great run, pun intended and all.

How has 2023 been treating you dear readers so far? Any good video games you’re playing?

Till next month,

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(Currently still revising the first draft of TLS…..)

All the Places I Have Been, Where I Am, and the Places I Am Going?

May 23, 2022 ~ Jai Lynn ~ 6 Comments

Hi.

It’s been a while.

I haven’t posted since November 2021. Ever since I started there had never been a moment when I didn’t post at least once a month. That is until November 2021. Life is a weird and funny thing. I started this blog because I wanted to join a community, I wanted to share my work with others, and I wanted to record (in a way) my journey to hopefully one day becoming a published writer. I am pleased to announce that that is still the goal.

Let’s just call that the “Places I Am Going” bit of this post. One day I still hope to have a published book under my belt that one day you all (or anyone really) can just walk into Barnes and Noble and see there just sitting on a shelf. Yeah… that would be pretty cool.

Right now, I am going through a major life change. Which is also cool! And scary! And fun! And weird. But all in a good way! That is “Where I Am” lol.

I don’t know how much I will be posting on here or when or what. But I am going to try to write something at least once a month. It might not be scheduled poetry or snapshots like I used to do but I will be writing something. Something.

How enticing, am I right? 😉

All my sarcasm aside, I am just happy to be here typing away again at my computer. Regardless of who decides to read my dribble, if anyone even wants to anymore. Now we are heading into the “Places I Have Been Bit” and I totallyyyyyy get it if that’s not your cup of tea. The important bits about my blog I put first, so feel free to jump ship now if need be.

I won’t judge you.

After the past seven months I’ve had, trust me, I won’t. But you can feel free to judge me if you want. At this point I don’t really care. And I don’t mean that crassly. I just mean that I realized a lot of things are more important than me worrying about what others think. What’s important is what I think of myself, and that I listen to myself and trust myself. And I am. I really am.

At the end of 2021, my life started to control itself. Let me explain. I was no longer the driver of my destiny. I was letting destiny, drive me. Work got hectic, my healthy habits I had taken years to build started to chip away and then, I stopped doing the things I love most.

I had been working at the same place for the past three years. When I started I was an anxious, lost and unconfident little girl who was a rock stuck at the bottom of the ocean. Gradually, the more time passed I came to love my job and the people I worked with. I wrote at home in my off hours working on my blog, writing the first draft of my story The Lowell Saga, and reading book upon book upon book. I wasn’t nervous anymore I loved everything I was doing. I found myself and my confidence grew. Then as time wore on things started to change. The pandemic happened, attitudes at work shifted, and suddenly I couldn’t focus on anything else besides waking up and going to work and coming home. I stopped hanging out with my friends. I started binge eating on the weekends that eventually slipped into the weekdays. I stopped playing video games. I stopped reading.

I stopped writing.

At the end of March 2022 I caught COVID again, for the second time. I was home sick from work for two weeks. Those two weeks of solid rest opened my eyes. I hadn’t had a week off in over three years. It took me getting sick to realize that I had lost control of my life. I wasn’t happy at my job anymore, I gained weight, I wasn’t seeing my friends except for rare occasions, and I didn’t have any time to enjoy my life’s passions.

So, in May I left my job. Anxious and lost again, but having gained the confidence that everything will be okay. I learned all I could and now it’s time to move on.

I am not a trapped rock anymore, more like a little blue fish drifting through the deep. And that is me.

ALL me. The place and person I need to be right now.

Let us see where this goes…

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Snapshot 10/31/21 // “Season of the Witch”

November 1, 2021 ~ Jai Lynn ~ 4 Comments

Currently listening: “Bless the Broken Road“- Rascal Flatts
Currently watching: You S3
Currently playing: Animal Crossing: New Horizons
Currently reading: The Once and Future Witches by Alix E. Harrow

I can’t imagine a world without Octobers. It is one of my favorite times of year. There is just something about the leaves turning gold and the wind whispering in your ear and thrill of Halloween around the corner that makes it feel so magical to me. Like there is something waiting to be found just where we can’t see in October. I live for that.

I also live for the fact that I got to go Salem, Massachusetts this month for a weekend. Oh, what a time to be alive.

October Goals:

Work on The Lowell Saga. Fail.
Maintain my healthy habits. Fail.
Have fun. WIN

November (the month where I should be writing) Goals:

Get my priorities straight, again. I kind of fell of the wagon in a lot of regards to my life’s goals this month. I got to do better. But… I did have a lot of fun in October 😉

What I Read:

The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern. I don’t know how many times I have reread this book… but it has been many. Something about the autumn always has me craving the midnight diners, the Ice Garden, and the love story interwoven all throughout. This book is one of my favorites of all time. Like The Raven Boys. I know I bring up those favorites a lot in this section but that is only because I have a constant need to keep rereading them, haha! That is proof of how much I love them. And The Night Circus is something I love dearly.
Pumpkinheads by Rainbow Rowell and Faith Erin Hicks. This. Was. Adorable. The perfect fall read. I breezed through it because it’s a graphic novel and I can’t believe how wonderful it was. A nice slice of life is something we all need in our lives from time to time and this hit the perfect autumnal spot.
The Atlas Six by Olivie Blake. Wow. What a BOOK. Read it. That’s it. Just READ IT.
The Crucible by Arthur Miller. Soooo, I might have mentioned that I went to Salem this month and of course I had to reread The Crucible. I read it in school years ago and though I did not appreciate it then I love it so much more now. Especially in context with the real life historical event that took place in 1692. It’s scary how easily it happened and it frightens me how easily it could happen again.

What I’ll Be Writing:

Poetry- posted every Wednesday
Writing Is Hard | WIP Writing Update- posted in the middle of the month
Snapshot! Monthly Recap- posted the last day of every month
Announcements- posted as needed

If you want more information about any of the above, you can check out the About page on my site or just click here.

My Round Up of October Posts:

“Book“
“Paradox“

November. Oh, November. I honestly… have no idea what is going to happen this month. But, life is weird like that isn’t it? We can plan and plan and plan…. then the rains pour down (or the sun comes out!). Hope for the best, plan for the worst.

Till next time,

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“Book”

October 6, 2021October 3, 2021 ~ Jai Lynn ~ 1 Comment

Prologues began,
before first cries can.

Pages turn
making us learn.

Chapters close,
finding hardship and foes.

Life is a book,
sometimes giving less than it took.

But stories don’t end
until for ourselves we can fend.

There is meaning in all,
especially when we fall.

One day we’ll know,
that this
was how it was supposed to go.

This post “Book” appeared first on Jai Lynn.

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Snapshot 9/30/21 // “Workaholic”

September 30, 2021September 27, 2021 ~ Jai Lynn ~ 4 Comments

Currently listening: “Astronaut in the Ocean” – Masked Wolf
Currently watching: Anne With an E S1 (rewatch)
Currently playing: Final Fantasy VII Remake
Currently reading: The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern

September wasn’t a real month. TBH in my head it is still August. I still feel summer everywhere even as I am staring down the fallen leaves in my front yard. Not much happened but at the same time I was constantly busy. Is there a word for this feeling? How do I describe it better…?

Imagine a train station. There are so many people around, all with their own agendas and thoughts, getting on the train and others getting off. Then there is you, standing stock still in the middle of the platform. You have your own agenda too. But, your agenda was to take off on a plane… and you are at a train station. Being that there are no planes around and no other way to leave the train station but on a train… you are stuck.

That was what September felt like to me.

September Goals:

Work on The Lowell Saga. Check.
Maintain my healthy habits. Check.
Be more open to possibilities. After this month I think I can handle almost anything. Check.

October (The month where I may reveal I have supernatural abilities) Goals:

Work on The Lowell Saga. Always.
Maintain my healthy habits. My life is a perfect graveyard of trying to be better and consistently falling short.
Have fun. A major highlight this month is a mini trip to Salem, MA which I am ECSTATIC about. Perfect timing. I need to have some fun, badly.

What I Read:

Reasons to Stay Alive by Matt Haig. August was a bit dark that was why I decided to pick up this book, and it was a good decision. The title says it all. Honestly. At some point in our lives we all might need this as a pick me up. I swear by Matt Haig, ever since I read The Midnight Library, and now I want to read all his books.
Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. This hit the right spot at the right time in my life. It’s a rare occurrence but when it does happen I know it does for a reason. If I had the resources and time I would totally follow in Elizabeth Gilbert’s footsteps. I want to travel and find myself for a year. Where can I sign up? All kidding aside though her struggle in this book is something we all as humans struggle with. Finding ourselves and our own version of happiness, a way to survive. After these past few years I think we could all use a way to survive, or a means to put things in perspective and find the will to go on with this crazy thing we call life.
Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery. This book was a joy to read. Right after I watched the Netflix show I bought all the books and nothing has made me feel calmer or more steady. Anne of Green Gables is so grounding and simple in the most pleasant way. That was a weird way to describe it. What I mean is that it helps to remind you that life is more about the simple things. The air on your cheek, the flowers outside your window and your loved ones all around you. Oh, and of course there is Gilbert Blythe too haha 😀
Kagerou Daze v. 2 by Jin and art by Mahiro Satou.
Blue Lily, Lily Blue by Maggie Stiefvater. The Raven Cycle is so cathartic and nostalgic at the same time. I wish I knew someone like Richard Campbell Gansey III. Maggie Stiefvater is a genius at nuance and atmospheric writing. Her characters are just so real. So real. I’m an articulate mess of emotions right now. All you need to know is that this series is on my all time favorites and that is all I am going to say. I read a lot of books but nowadays it’s rare to find one to even touch this list. All of us readers have that list. The list of favorites that just speaks to our soul. The ones that hit us at the right time in our life when we needed the story most and so will forever have a special place is our hearts. This series is one of the few on my list. Okay now I promise I’m done.