and eyes unnaturally
and thoughts unbearably
and spirit faithfully
what it’s like
to lose yourself
to something bigger?
©2021 Jai Lynn
Kingdom Hearts is one of the most beloved video game franchises of all time. Especially to me. Age ten was when this one first fell into my lap. I have always loved video games, and with that love comes a flood of memories. My brother and I opening up a Playstation 2 on Christmas morning together, my brother and I in the following years combining our money so we could buy a GameCube at Toys R Us when that first came out, my brother bringing my Pokemon Sapphire to my Dad’s work and losing my game (and my Skitty which I worked SO HARD to capture!) making me burst into angry tears… but I digress. Video games are something my brother and I have always shared and bonded over, through good times and bad. Kingdom Hearts is part of the good.
It all started when I was invited over to one of my school friends’ house for the first time. Kingdom Hearts was a thing I had known of before but (like Avatar: The Last Airbender when it first came out) I hadn’t originally pursued. My friend said it was good and that we should play, and long story short, I spent that whole play date engrossed in the Destiny Islands.
I remember that it was around the time Kingdom Hearts 2 was coming out. I bought my own copy of the original KH and played and played and played. I got to the Chernabog, legit, right near the final battle and the end of the game but succumbed and ended up starting Kingdom Hearts 2 immediately as soon as I could get my hands on it. That’s when I saw Roxas for the first time.
Little to say I never ended up finishing Kingdom Hearts then. So, I’m left with the weird experience of saying I beat Kingdom Hearts 2 first. (Chain of Memories I tried to play too in that time frame but me and those battle controls weren’t jiving…)
I don’t know what it was but as soon as I saw Roxas I loved him. (That is probably as close to love at first sight that I’ll ever get in this lifetime.) The more I played as him and learned about him the more that affection grew and by the end of the prologue of Kingdom Hearts 2… I was devastated. If you’ve ever played the game you’ll know what I mean.
Why am I telling you all this and what does it have to do with my writing journey? Well, that passion of mine birthed into a story. My second attempt at fan fiction, only this time I typed it. Roxas ignited in me a story that I poured hours and hours into, writing way into the wee hours of the night on my old Dell laptop. Minor spoiler alert here but, I put so much effort into that story and would love to show you an awful excerpt but alas it came to a sad conclusion, just like Roxas.
My old Dell ended up crashing and I lost everything.
Including my story.
When I die, I pray God will bring that story back to me. Along with all the other little lost things that I’ve lost track of in my life. Like my Mew card, my Pokemon Sapphire game with my Skitty, and that Kingdom Hearts story. It was my first typed story, that along with my Pokemon picture books, and Sailor Moon fanfic notebook I never got to finish.
I guess that’s where I developed this habit of never finishing a story.
The habit I’m determined to break now with my current WIP, The Lowell Saga. I am happy to report that I have started writing! Snippets here and snippets there, but my word count is now on the rise… so progress guys!! I haven’t finished world building yet but I’ve decided to break that down to bits and pieces as I write. I think that’s better than me trying to do all the research in the beginning. That way my imagination can have some fun. Otherwise I know, as in the past, I may lose interest. The further I go with this WIP the more I’m learning about myself. I’ve been outlining a lot this month as well, and narrowing down the plot points I want to hit in this four book saga. It’s honestly…. very exciting.
And these feelings are why I love writing. I love being excited and feeling like yes, yes if this is all I do for the rest of my life I will die happy and fulfilled.
So far this WIP has been in the making for three years. It started as an idea, then research, some writing, afterward letting it simmer for a bit, and now picking it up again in 2020. More inspiration, more researching, and in the present I’m outlining and beginning to write. My process is like a slow burn romance. There’s the interest, and then the simmer as things calm as we get to know each other better, and then more and more kindling (like right where I’m at now) is starting to be thrown into the fire as I pick up on all these little details that I can’t wait to write about. I pray the burn continues this way. I’ll make it so.
That way one day this story will be a wildfire.
Till next time,
word count: 1,230