Writing is Hard | WIP Update | August 2022 | One Step At a Time

Previous Post: Writing is Hard | WIP Update | July 2022 | Different Mindset

My life changed dramatically in 2022. So much so it has felt like a year already in my head, but it’s not even September.

August was a slow month for me but one of the very best. A lot of different GOOD things happened and bit by bit I feel like I am coming back to myself. No lie, 2022 really turned me and who I thought I was upside down. It forced me to rethink my entire life as it was and my entire future as I wished it to be. Even if it did shake me up, I learned a lot about life and myself. This August for the first time in a while I felt like a broken drummer finally getting their rhythm back. I turned 27, went on a trip up to Boston, thought and hustled really hard in the direction I want my future to head in, and I got back to my WIP.

I have two bulletin boards and two whiteboards up in my office space where I usually write. This month I started fresh, wiped things away and started picking up The Lowell Saga where I left it. One step at a time I can feel my love of writing returning, as well as that wonderful feeling that anything is possible.

I just have to remember to take it slowly, or I’ll fall back into my old thinking patterns and struggles which I talked a lot about last month. But for right now day by day, step by step.

I have made some major character shifts and plot changes this past month with The Lowell Saga, and with these differences the story feels more right to me. I am a very intuitive writer and rely on my gut to lead me a lot. I have faith that my heart and soul knows how to write this story, and that my mind will know how to edit it as I go along on this journey to hopefully one day publication.

I am still listening to writing podcasts and I have started combing through Susan Dennard’s old newsletters on writing, which if you haven’t read and you are a writer I highly recommend them! She gives great advice on her process and she is so relatable. She remains to this day one of favorite writers on the planet.

This past week I have also tried to force myself to sit down in front of my storyboards in my office and think. At first my old friend Fear was there but the more I sat, even if I was doing nothing but breathing and staring, the easier it got to be in the room. I wasn’t suffocated by my perfectionism, Fear started to fade into the background, and I felt the tingles in my fingers of why I wanted to write in the first place.

It is a beginning, and well… that is the best place to start.

Thank you all for listening,

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(Currently still revising the first draft of TLS…..)

Writing is Hard | WIP Update | July 2022 | Different Mindset

Previous Post: Writing is Hard | WIP Update | June 2022 | (*sigh*)

Today I finished reading The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg. It was a great read, full of a lot of interesting studies on habits and how to change them. I highly recommend it but that is not the reason why I brought it up (or started my July writing update with this paragraph lol). In the book there was mention of a religious figure, and of course the book talked about how he used habits to build up a huge religious society, but there was also a little side note that caught my eye. In that story the religious figure suffered from anxiety and depression, and there was a time that he couldn’t handle doing his services anymore. So he went off the grid for a time. It was just a small part of his story but it struck me all the same.

For so long I have avoided writing (part was due to life circumstances that were out of my control) but the rest I realized stemmed from the overwhelming task of writing a book. Perfectionism is something I’ve struggled with throughout my life. I wanted my story to be perfect but nothing is perfect. Nothing. It is impossible. But I still wanted it anyway. So I put off writing on my story in the few moments in my hectic life I did have. Because the task I set myself was daunting. The perfect book. I became increasingly stressed out whenever faced with the task of working on The Lowell Saga.

The other part of my problem I realized only after I rewatched Kiki’s Delivery Service which I hadn’t seen in its entirety in years. If you know the movie you will know what I mean when I say that in my dream of wanting to be a full time writer I put so much pressure on myself that writing wasn’t fun anymore. I became anxious, sad and I lost the belief in myself that it would ever come true.

As I am writing this post though, again I feel so much better getting all my thoughts out in words. Writing is a part of me even though I am struggling to find my footing with it again. July was a bad month in terms of progress with my story. I am trying to fix that. But the first step is in fixing myself.

Like I said, I haven’t made much (if any) progress on The Lowell Saga.

But I have started to listen to writing podcasts, and I have started to read more articles on writing, and I have surfed YouTube to watch videos of other writers and their routines and I have decided to try to adopt a new way to think. I can’t look at my story as a life or death situation anymore. All the joy of why I started writing in the first place just gets sucked away and I end up sad. So, I am going to start thinking of it less as a job and more as a hobby. That subtle change in thought alone already makes me feel immeasurably better.

Maybe that way it can go back to being something I love and not something I have come to fear.

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(Currently still revising the first draft of TLS…..)

Writing is Hard | WIP Update | June 2022 | (*sigh*)

Previous Post: Writing is Hard | WIP Update | September 2021 | What am I doing…..?

So I changed my calendar because it is now June and there was a picture of a fish. That made me happy. Nothing else today has made me happy. That is why I needed to preface this post with THAT. The last time I did one of these is not even worth mentioning because it was so long ago. Let’s just get into it.

I am rereading my first draft and having a hell of a time with all the problems I am finding.

(*sigh*)

There is a lot of editing to do.

But let us talk about the bright side lest I depress us all. There are some good things that I am happy with. yay. I wrote a first draft in the first place! Also yay. Am I struggling? Yes. Am I pushing myself anyway? Yes. Because there is something bright waiting on the other side of this draft.

I’ll just keep telling myself all this as I slog along. It’s all part of the journey.

Pray for me my fellow bloggers. PeAcE oUt.

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(Currently revising the first draft of TLS…..)